Jess hasn't been helping, I'm to a point of tomorrow, I'm putting a parent control on the computer so that the internet cuts off at midnight. Force her to go to bed, she WILL be getting a job or she WILL be going back to Ohio to Lee and Donna. I don't give a flying fuck what she thinks. We cannot support her and I'm sick and tired of us not having this or that each week because none of us can afford anything more in groceries. I'm done, just DONE. She needs to get off her ass and get a fucking job. She's not a kid she's 31 years old with a dog that she needs to take care of and I will not take care of myself because he's not mine. I have 2 horses, 20 something rabbits. I would figure out how to work a dog in if I had to but I don't need to, she took him and she insists that she couldn't leave him- well then damn well support him.
Winter surely isn't helping at all, along with some of my bastard bucks that keep spraying. Just as soon as they replace themselves they are going. I don't give a damn how much I paid for them, I'm just so irritated. If I could find a roommate to share a place with, that I could afford I'd be gone from here. As much as it would hurt me to leave dad like this. I can't do this to dad. He depends on my $80 a week to pay for groceries because that's one less thing he has to pay for- that's a straight $80 plus whatever else I have to pick up extra weather it be company store or 'can you pick this up' deals. We're still waiting on mom's disability so that can make things easier. Winter's not helping by continuing to DRAG on. Frozen water dishes every day, so cold I feel like a human popsicle coming in after feeding.
My broken tooth hasn't been helping, having an incredibly painful mouth doesn't help. I've had plenty of time to get the tooth yanked out- just not the money to do so. Same issue with the truck really. My truck has been sitting now for several weeks, get the headlight switch replaced and the alternator breaks down- the headlight switch is an original part that I replaced, so $20 for a lifetime warranty on that no problem. The Alternator on the other hand, is 13 months old- 1 month out of warranty for a $90 alternator. Life's a bitch- I'm giving it right back though. Tax return money will go to catching up my Sallie Mae, getting front tires on my truck, Heidi's teeth floated and *hopefully* new exhaust on the truck. Anything else left over will go towards the other bills that are still current but could use the boost.
The last thing not helping is lack of sleep. Anywhere from 4.5 to 6 hours on a REALLY good night of sleep with this schedule. I'm surely ready to lose it, if I haven't already. I mean last night, I cussed my supervisor out for being stupid, TWICE, in less than a half hour. Then cussed my line lead a few hours later for being stupid. And I wasn't tired yesterday.
At least when I'm half dead and the doctors office calls to give me the results of my biopsy-again- I'm a smart ass instead of a royal bitch. At least that came back positively. It's just thyroiditis causing the Hypothyroidism. The lump on my thyroid is benign. Good and hopefully they don't have to do that biopsy anytime soon again. I hated my neck being sore and stiff.
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