Friday, August 10, 2018

Passions



It's been another month of craziness.  Been working, house sitting and working some more!  Again I haven't' spent any time what so ever with Heidi and Tessa, but I have settled on a date to bring them home- the 25th.  I just have to go talk to Nelson and see if he'd trailer the girls back out to dad's.  I never did get the large chunk of the fence replaced but I am going to see if I can't borrow the electric tape to just put up but not connect to the electric to help keep my girls off the fence and possibly continue to replace fencing.  I do miss my girls. I have learned so much that horses are just my release and I miss having them around.  I know I could always go over and mess with them I just never have the energy especially by the time I drive over there and now I am in the drive to get hay put up in the barn for them for winter. 



Becky did learn her mare didn't take to breeding twice now so she will be trying to find her a good home and as much as I do like the mare, I don't want another mare and I know I couldn't afford to feed/take care of another horse in general.  Granted breed her over to Tessa's sire and get a dun, likely red dun foal but to me no garuntee that I'd get a colt to geld. Also David Howards got a yearling paint gelding that was GORGEOUS but has lameness issues and not worth much, I wouldn't mind messing with it- but again no room or finances to take care of 3 horses. 
I want to do more with them, just like I want to do more with a lot of things.  I am planning right now on doing so much stuff with them when they are home again.  I still haven't quit looking for my own place but I am looking right now at clearing debt.  One more week and I'll be doing the last payment on my student loans!  Makes me so excited to finally clear that one.  Lastly left is credit card debt! Next thing to save up for is the newer car while I am paying down/off credit card debt.  
The last week I spent at Mrs Fu's was stressful.  I was there Sunday through Sunday.  Mom blew a tire on the Nissan in Lexington and had to go get that, and leave them my car and I was driving my truck with no brake lights, then they bust my car (okay, okay, it was just a half dead alternator).  That drove me batty and I lost so much money behind driving my truck.  I didn't sink but it was enough to irritate me to no end.  I've been stressed out the last couple of months and I am so mentally worn out.  I have tried a new thyroid supplement.  I'm not sure it's helping or not but I am thinking it's helping some.  I try to not take it daily as it feels like it does set my sinus' off at times.  
Willow and I did get through 1 training class before all the mayhem hit.  I am intending to continue home training shortly and push forward.  Aunt Lisa sent me a premium for a September show and THAT one I am pretty sure I can make and get back into the ring.  Do a Rally Novice B and at least get back into the ring.  I am ready to start doing some training work on top of working my horses. 
I still rollercoaster ride back and forth through depression episodes and I am trying to get a better control.  I had a stronger depression episode this past week and then starting Thursday  it swung from the depression to anger issues.  I was so angry at work that I was personally just a foul person to be around.  I tried to angle my ways outside and away to try and minimize the damage.  
Many plans, many goals and I am happy to say I am starting to move forward.  I'm still house hunting, it's just hard to find somewhere that I can afford on my salary and still have the room to keep my horses.  

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Moving Forward



So it's been almost a month again but so far nothing major has been going on really.  I have continued to cut rabbits back out of the barn.  Gerdy passed away on her own after not bouncing back from a tooth abbcess like she should have.  Granted she was old but the antibiotics just hit her harder than she could come back from.  I did daily probiotics on her as well to try and counter the antibiotics but it wasn't enough for the 8+ year old rabbit.  I feel guilty like I should have seen it sooner or something.  Thankfully I didn't lose any to heat stroke though.  A friend of mine lost 5 English Spots to heat stroke and he even has fans in his barn.  It included Precious, the Willy x Cricket baby I had wanted to keep back to show but had a toe chewed off. I will do that cross again.  I just have to slim down my number of rabbits because Even after House sitting for Mrs Fu, and then July 6th-8th at Patrick's, I have to pay someone else to take care of my rabbits.  I have also slacked some on taking better care of them.  Heat and all today I pulled all my senior dutch out and clipped nails- they were atrociously long.  Tomorrow I will do the English Spots.  I'm still toying with keeping Trick for now.  I might, I don't know.  I just know I hate the idea of moving Mirror on, but the guy that lost Precious and 4 others, is getting her to help rebuild his herd again.  Helps me get my numbers down.  I need to keep less of them for more house sitting.  


The horses are just getting fat on pasture.  I haven't done a thing with them honestly.  I tried to put a grazing muzzle on Tessa and that made her an angry mare.  After a week I ended up taking it off.  She was angry, making a disaster for everyone else. Monday Michael will be there to trim and I might ask him about someone to lease her.  I love her, she's queen bitch mare out there- despite being the youngest and smallest.  Ellie and Heidi will stand nose to tail and swat flies with each other until Tessa comes over.  I honestly need to start doing something with them.  This heat just saps the drive out of me to do anything.  





Well Breyerfest was this weekend at the Horse Park.  I didn't go to the Horse Park but Aunt Lisa and I went down to the Clarion Hotel where they do the swap meet and I went looking mostly for scratch models for painting.  I have a decent list of horses I wanted to get painted: Drifter, Honey, Truly, Amber, Sherralyn and I still forgot to get a model for Bo.  Drifter, Honey and Truly are all going on the same mod- stock horse mare, and I wanted to switch Tessa off the mold(Stock horse mare) she is currently on to Indian Pony mold.  So I luckily found 2 stock horse mares and one indian pony that are stratched.  Never found a Marabella for Sherralyn but did find Family Arabian mare for her instead, it's the same mold that Jasmine is on.  Granted the leg is broke off but the piece is still there and I do know how to re-attach the broken piece.  The black mare I'm not sure what I am going to do with her.  I might use that for a traditional sized Bailey.


The Gem Twist model I don't know what I am going to do with him.  I found him for $3, with his tail despite its broken off.  The John Henry model I just have to bend the leg back out and I'll either put Bootsie or Spencer on it. 


There was a list of horses I wanted to find for myself.  A couple I *KNEW* I could find but couldn't' afford at this time.  I was looking at the Grulla paint mare in the Lady Phase mold and I found it online to be in a couple of different rooms for $100 so I had mentally written her off but I found her for $20 down in the community/ball room of the hotel right before we left and I snatched her up.  I also picked up Savannah Dial, she's a scratch but I didn't realize those feathers are raised on her so she'll be a display model until I figure out what to do with her.   I also found and got another carousel ornament.  I have downloaded all the pictures of each ornament so now when I unpack all mine I can thusfore delete their pictures if I have them so I know which ones to continue to look for.  Sadly no Hidalgo, Stunt Double, Rain and the original Spirit were found.  Bobby Jo and the other red dun tobiano I wanted were limited Editions so were very $$$$$$$.  


Anyway, I was quite happy with my loot from Breyerfest Swap.  I was out late Friday night for it and I didn't get panicky until I was in the ballroom- the last place we stopped before we left.  I even managed to get The Black Stallion traditional for my aunt since I know she loves Arabians faces and black horses.  
Then Saturday morning/today, I started some dog training classes with Willow.  It's hard to go back to basics and get a more solid foundation on her.  I have been doing the exercise Becky told me last weekend and we didn't get hardly anywhere with them all week.  But suddenly today it was like the light went on.  Kinda made me feel stupid, like we hadn't been practicing.  But we are getting there.  I am thrilled with the progress.  But I think I will wait until Bluegrass to take the hit.  If I enter Greater Louisville, I will likely do a Rally Novice which will mean switching over to B class.  I'm not sure if it will be of a help to do it.  Becky said to either do a Novice coarse or take an intermediate if I wanted to stay in A before I jump to advanced since it's off leash.  Intermediate is advanced signs and everything but it's on leash.  I think I might go for the intermediate at Louisville just to get our feet 'wet' again and then shoot for Advanced at Bluegrass.  I will see what Becky recommends next weekend after our class.  Novice B or Intermediate.   I want to at least get through Advanced and through Novice Obedience.  I don't think we can handle Open Obedience.  Though Becky might be able to push us to it if I want to.  Honestly I really like the Rally better so I might stay there.  Get our CD and call it good and go back to Rally?  I don't know yet.  I have to see how the training goes. 
So for right now I am still paying down debt and working every weekend.  But house hunting is still on.  I just have to figure out what to do with the horses.


Thursday, June 21, 2018

Long awaited update

I know it's been a while, long while.  But I have been in my own head thinking a lot and trying to make adjustments to life.  With Tessa at my aunts, getting fat on the pasture I had Heidi home and very mopey without her friend.  Even when they were in heat and nipping each other they were still partners.  So I was told if I strung the hot wire we could move Heidi over.  Some hot weekends commenced and we got the hot wire strung and my mares re-united.





I am glad the mares are happy, even if they are all taking turns coming into heat and nipping each other.  It also makes it hard to tell where all the mares are in hierarchy.  Tessa had gained up so much of her weight all from pasture.  I am unsure if I want to try and put a grazing muzzle on her or just talk to Michael next time he comes to trim and see if he or a trusted friend would like to lease her(we can work out arrangements then) Something to help her get in shape and give me time to get myself back in shape and also get them set for the fall/winter as well.  I want to start riding again and part of me wants to lease Tessa and then start Lessons on a lesson horse since Heidi's not fit to be a lesson horse. 

Willow has been doing quite well in her off leash heeling, so much that I am contemplating entering the august Rally trial in Louisville.  Part of me thinks we will make fools of ourselves and part of me says- do it!  Never know until you try.  So I will continue to work on it until I have to send the entry forms in.  That gives me almost a month right now to keep working.   My Rally signs which have the new ones in it I can start to prepare us for a Rally Advanced coarse.  I just hope we can do it! 

Rabbits- oh well that opens a new can of worms.  I've been fussing to put together cages today and stack hay in the barn and Been fighting with Mice.  Rat poison is still being eaten so I know they are still around.  I killed a mouse myself today in a bucket.  I just can't keep up with this fighting rodents.  So I am doing a full herd reduction.  I've got so many of them I am going to part with.  Intention is to keep under 10 not counting Gerdy, Natalie and Connie.  Just balancing between Dutch and English Spots will be hard. 

Then thinking about showing this fall will be tough.  I've started doing house sitting apparently, I didn't mean to start it, about like I didn't mean to really start working at Drachefeld either.  But it just happened.  Drachefeld I started while Mikey was gone and I really enjoy doing them.  I like the German Shepherds, and I have no issue with them.  It's so calm and peaceful out there.  Then Mrs. Fu approached me about staying with her dogs while she was gone to a horse show.  Mrs Fu is the main owner over Dragonsmeade farm, and Drachefeld so for me it was hard to say no.  And she said bring your puppy with you, so Willow came.  Willow had a blast running with her whippet Skye in the backyard.  I would not hesitate to do it again.  4 days no wifi except what my phone picked up.  It was the best change I have had in a long time.  I would spend my evenings with the 5 dogs (Muchacho, Skye, Maudie, Gloria and Willow) sketching and watching NCIS Los Angeles that I had on my external.  It was lovely and I did so well, I enjoyed going out and seeing all the horses there.  Granted they were Morgan's not the Quarter Horse or Paints that I love (and even a good blanket Appaloosa)..  But couldn't resist the foals!


But I feel like everything is happening for a reason.  Doing more house sitting, and working at Drachefeld is keeping me from spending a lot of time and resources on my rabbits so they are starting to phase out.  Now after house sitting for Mrs Fu, Patrick has asked me to stay a couple nights at his place with his dogs.  I have no problems doing it, and I even jumped at the opportunity to do it.  So rabbits MUST be phased out or at least down.  It will be an interesting to have a life without rabbits.  Much easier to travel and do things, but I will miss my tuxedo rabbits and my spine striped beauties.  I will keep a few of them but there has got to be less.  I have to assume that something is changing in my life and hopefully guiding me to something better.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Always


Well been a little while again and I was doing good mentally for a while but this past weekend has put my heart to the test.  I ran out of Eddie's hay that I had been feeding all winter so I thought, I will just have to get some of Harry's if he is interested in selling his rolls again.  I knew that his hay had given them sores in their mouths last year but I totally forgot to think that it was the rainiest February in the written history of Kentucky and these are outside stored bales.  The girls would not eat it at all.  So I was down to the fact of they need to go to another field.  I know the field across the road isn't an option because his dog is not good with livestock and it's a jack russel.  He was afraid it would go nip the horses and since it's small and white, Heidi would try to stomp it into the turf.  Only option I can think of to help my pasture was to take the horses off.  At least Tessa is quiet and calm so I asked to move her to Lisa's.  I hated doing it.  I know she's fine over there, but I hated separating my girls.  Heidi is moping around here by herself.  I am trying to not cry knowing my middle fur-child is not here anymore.  I feel like it's first steps to selling her or something.  Push her away and forget about her.  I'm afraid and I seriously miss her.  



She seemed to really like being out there.  She got a little bloody spot on her butt and on her forehead but I think that came from when the cut gate came and locked her into the front of the trailer.  I didn't think to check that first.  She was still really good to trailer despite being almost a year and a half without seeing a trailer again.  It's on my list of things to get- a trailer, but for now it's a pipe dream. 




Heidi is moping around being alone.  I left her out to graze the backyard for over an hour today.  I feel so awful, I just feel like she's going to hate me for taking away her buddy again.   I hope the grass comes up under her quickly and I can get the fence repairs done around her.  

As for the rabbits.  They are doing good.  I had tried to put Gerdy, Natalie and Connie in the x-pen together and they all dug out under it.  So they are all in cages again until I can build an actual pen and put wire down on the ground to prevent the digging out.  I have a few rabbits that need to go out the door to create room and this time I think sadly, Trick is going to be one of them.  He has several nice babies in Linds' nest box.  I like Trick but he's not proving himself to be a good brood buck.  He shows okay but being a blue buck he needs to be really good.  I'm not sure Mirror took to him for another litter.  Her first litter was all charlie and sports, not a single marked kit from Trick.  Cricket to Trick gave me 1 marked kit, 3 sports and 3 charlies. 

These are Linds babies.  I'm waiting to see how these babies grow out and what is a doe and what isn't.  The lilacs are heavier marked so with any luck they will be does.  Heavy bucks go to Marty.  The blue I also hope is a doe because I want another blue doe.  
The dutch are doing okay, Fist is going to go to Amy eventually, and I am hoping to cull out Legend after her litter to Fist since her daughter, Memory, is better typed and has a Willie litter in the box right now with a few good looking kits.  I need to watch their body types first.  I have to cut back the number I have.  I still haven't gotten to where I can cull Natalie and Connie.  

As for my health.  I switched vitamins again yesterday.  I had taken my GNC one at lunch like normal but after getting to Lisa's she brought me over the doTerra book and showed me a little clip on Hashimoto's and had a spare bottle of one of the vitamin's it recommends so I took one with dinner.  It's recommends that you take 4 a day but I figure if I start with 2 a day and keep going I should be pretty good.  So now I take one of those plus my HBP pill with lunch and another vitamin and a zyrtec with dinner.  So far today I actually feel pretty good.  I may have to go back to the Coburn farms yogurt as this Activia doesn't do what I want it to do.  Other than the mind games my lack of ability to take care of my own horses is taking on me and lack of ability to lose any weight has taken but it will come, I know it will.  I am still dreaming of the day that I will have both mares together again, and have my own little place again.  Dreams, Heidi, Tessa and Willow are what keeps me alive and going each and every day.    

Friday, March 9, 2018

Moving forward.

So I am going to attempt to revamp this blog at least.  It'll be basic life.  Sometimes just mental ramblings.  Anyone that reads can comment, it doesn't bug me but realize I do read but may not reply to any or all comments. 
I have started to veer away from Facebook.  I browse it very quickly a couple times a day and share, like or comment on a few things but that is all.  I don't particularly care to stay on there much.  Most nights I just leave Facebook open if someone wants to chat with me.  I don't go looking for conversations because so many people disappear and can't or won't hold a conversation with me.  So I don't start conversations with anyone anymore.  For the most part there's nothing I have much in common with people and I have so many personal things going on that it's hard to even want to  try and keep myself and my family up to date so I'm not keeping other people up to date- and it's hard to even talk to them when they don't stick around for a conversation anyway! 

Anyhow.  Get off my little rant.  I'll first stick to Willow.  We've been working some since mid February on our off leash heeling and I'm looking at picking up a working set of the Rally signs since that's where I want to head back into is Rally.  I know she'll be 4 here in 2 months and my original plan had been to have all her titles by now.  But Somewhere I got totally of coarse.  I'm not sure if it was where we moved back to my parents and I was bitter and angry for a long time, then I became the only human out of 4 in the house that was working.  Dad was laid off for the winter, Jess didn't have a job and mom never has. I've been back here, this coming August will be 2 years, but I will have 2 of my debts paid off and I've been casually looking at houses for myself.  After putting Ayden to sleep back in January I have had so much well had I done this, this wouldn't have happened and he'd still be alive today.  I know it's not fair to his memory nor to me to do that but I can't help it.  I haven't been able to bring myself to just tell myself straight that it wouldn't have mattered.  Cancer is just an evil thing that does what it wants to do.  Cancer took my second fur-dog child away from me.  I'm also looking at picking up my own soft pop up crate to keep in my car for weekends at Drachefeld, the German Shepherd kennel so I can put her in that while I am working.  I do love the dogs there, most of them are super friendly, and just looking out after I am done with them, at all the Morgans in the fields and watching the babies outside playing on the farm is fantastic.  Drachefeld is owned by Dragonsmeade farm.  Some day I would love to tour the barn and be allowed to roam the fields to take pictures of them.  But that needs to wait until the temps are better outside! 

The horses, well they are there.  I haven't done much with them, I rode Tessa back in January but not Heidi since November or December.  I have figured out that I have to give up on the english saddle.  45 minutes in that Western saddle and I wasn't sore in anyway shape or form.  30 minutes in the english saddle and my foot was throbbing for days.  Something about the english stirrup irons are not friendly and not comfortable for my foot.  I will have to try that Western on Heidi one of these days.  I have so much to do with them, but part of me is waiting to find out what I'm going to do.  I only have 4 round bales left which is going to be roughly 40 days from tomorrow, so beginning of April to mid month.  I need to decide if I am going to *try* to put the girls over at Lisa's for a little while if she will allow me to.  Doing that I don't see them as much as I do now and I fear Heidi being a bitch to Ellie or to the cows, or both.  Tessa I know for sure will be fine.  She's been such a good little mare.  Heidi I used to trust around other horses until we boarded at Lucky Charm.  I don't know what it is.  I know she likes being messed with more often now so I start to wonder what they did to her out there.  There's so many variables still left with the horses, I need to really put some planning into them- but that's time to put into them as well as put into everything else that needs my attention.  I have at least one more month before I really have to have a plan in order. 

The rabbits.  Gosh I really don't know what I am doing with them.  I am loving all my guys, but I had that one litter that has been practically destroyed by a rat infestation and it was my showable babies- of coarse!  Thankfully the lady that wanted the chocolate buck, wanted him for breeding anyway, and he's missing a toe, but the blue doe that I had wanted to keep for showing is also missing a toe so it's not showable either!  The lilac doe I'm not sure it's going to live to grow up, it messed up it's hock, along with the black buck.  The black buck I think is doing better than the lilac doe.  If the lilac doe heals up will depend on what I do with her.  If she heals up nicely I will try to show her and sell her, if not I might breed her or I might cull her out.  I don't know.  I love the spots, and I love my dutch but I don't want to get too many again. I would love to have blue and torts of both breeds but right now I have lilac spots with my blue and tort dutch with the blue.  I guess this first show coming up will show me what I need to know about my herd and I will see what I plan on doing going forward.  I do intend to only raise what brings me joy.  While some of my lops did bring me joy at the time my heart has been stuck with these striped, running breeds.  Dutch have always been a love of mine.  I just don't know anymore.

As for my health.  I switched around when I took my High Blood Pressure pill from before bed to at lunch time and other than I do struggle more with dehydration.  I might have to go back to drinking more powerade again.  But I am okay with that.  I am down 7 pounds this year so far.  It's been a year since my weight was this low.  And that's the only thing I have changed.  So I am hoping with my walking (and working Willow) son I hope the weather agrees to allow me to start biking and riding again and this weight will come off.  I am totally ready for it. 

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Mud, mud and more Mud

Been a month of nothing yet so much!  So much to think about and so much to go forward on and I'm happy to do things.  I'm mentally pushing myself into a better and better mindset.
I have been working every weekend since early January and this weekend has been an off weekend.  I'm not working at the clinic, not at the German Shepherds or anything this weekend.  Just a totally down weekend to relax and enjoy a few things.  Of coarse though it is raining.  It's been raining so much that we can't even get the 4-wheelers out into the horse pasture with the hay.  Including my aunts 4-wheeler which is twice the size and power of dad's.  We about buried it with the last bale and it's been raining ever since then.  5 days of rain.  Tessa's got cellulitis in all 4 legs, so I coppertoxed them and gave her a big shot of excede, she got her second round excede shot today so that should help and I'm going to start her back on Horseshoer's Secret in hopes of that helping her feet.  I think Heidi should go on it as well despite she's not showing any signs her feet are bothersome.  Well Tess isn't either, she's still running out in the slop.  Both girls had their friskies on Friday and Today.  We had a brief sunny few hours on each of the last 4 days so the grass is really trying to take off and grow and they were searching and nibbling whatever they could.  Not exactly how I wanted to spend my weekend off from everything but I can do it.
The rabbits are doing ~okay~ because I am still struggling with the remnants of the rat problem.  I found on Saturday, two of Cricket's showables have toes chewed on.  The chocolate buck and the blue doe.  I'm still going to continue to monitor them for development see if the nail grows back and they just lost nails.  The lilac doe I'm going to watch and see she messed up her hock and she goes to Cull or if she gets to stay and turn showable.  The dutch, I'm not sure, I'm going to watch this development of these kits and see how they come out, but the barn feels cramped up with that extra set of cages in it so I do want to see what I can do to cut down my numbers again.  The Jolene and Lantis tort litter is mostly mismarks. 
Willow, well, she's back to itching- a LOT and it's driving me batty.  So I've been on this cleaning spree and I got my room cleaned up and out and got my car cleaned up and now it's time to get ready for bed for the work week to start again.  At least next weekend is the German Shepherds.  I do really like working at the dog kennel.  I can take my time and get to enjoy the dogs as well.   Praying for this work week to go nice, easy and fun!

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Keeping costs

I will attempt to start out on a good note.  I have been doing so well with the horses health and it does make me happy.  I know it was bad to go that long without getting their feet trimmed.  Last trim was back in August.  (8/30) and that was where we found the thrush in Tessa's feet and how both of the girls' frogs had been just about eaten away from their feet.  I felt awful going into September and I ran a month of Horseshoer's secret on both mares to help improve their feet conditions and I've been doing a monthly dosing of Koppertox on their feet and I've been doing my best to get and keep them in good condition.  I may not do much with them in the winter and Heidi may do better in the winter but her arthritis in her right rear will get the best of her in a few more years I think.  She'll need to be started on a joint supplement in the coming years.  I had their feet done today and I gave Heidi some bute beforehand and she did better.  Just sadly that Michael was as sore and stiff as he was.  He was only 10 weeks post op for a personal surgery that he needed done(which is why the horses trims were so far out, usually I keep a 10-12 week schedule).  I just felt so good doing something with them again.  It feels like I haven't hardly done anything with them in weeks.


I likely will be working a bunch more overtime as I have a car repair waiting for me.  The lower ball joints have gone bad again.  I had them replaced little over a year ago and they should have lasted the length of the life of the car.  Oh well.  I knew dad had issues with the quality of the parts that Katie Tire in Mt Sterling had used, and that's where my car had been done a year ago.  So go figure that my parts were also poor quality. Thankfully the car isn't at Katie's this time.  We've never had an issue with quality of the parts used at Craig's.
The rabbits are doing really good though.  Well health wise.  Breeding wise not so much.  Both dutch does lost their litters to the cold.  Odd for Legends to lose hers and Jolenes were 3 days old before they froze.  Then Cricket gave me a gorgeous litter of 8 in a nice rainbow of color.  I've got black, blue, lilac and even a single chocolate baby in that litter.  I am very pleased how this litter came out.  Mirror is pregnant to Trick due tomorrow.  I am hopeful for a good live litter out of her.  So far Trick hasn't proven to be a decent herd buck at all.  I will keep trying him for a little while and see what happens.  Hopefully I can get a good replacement out of him and move him on. Whoever thought the saying "breed like rabbits" could ever be so wrong?