Saturday, January 20, 2018

Keeping costs

I will attempt to start out on a good note.  I have been doing so well with the horses health and it does make me happy.  I know it was bad to go that long without getting their feet trimmed.  Last trim was back in August.  (8/30) and that was where we found the thrush in Tessa's feet and how both of the girls' frogs had been just about eaten away from their feet.  I felt awful going into September and I ran a month of Horseshoer's secret on both mares to help improve their feet conditions and I've been doing a monthly dosing of Koppertox on their feet and I've been doing my best to get and keep them in good condition.  I may not do much with them in the winter and Heidi may do better in the winter but her arthritis in her right rear will get the best of her in a few more years I think.  She'll need to be started on a joint supplement in the coming years.  I had their feet done today and I gave Heidi some bute beforehand and she did better.  Just sadly that Michael was as sore and stiff as he was.  He was only 10 weeks post op for a personal surgery that he needed done(which is why the horses trims were so far out, usually I keep a 10-12 week schedule).  I just felt so good doing something with them again.  It feels like I haven't hardly done anything with them in weeks.


I likely will be working a bunch more overtime as I have a car repair waiting for me.  The lower ball joints have gone bad again.  I had them replaced little over a year ago and they should have lasted the length of the life of the car.  Oh well.  I knew dad had issues with the quality of the parts that Katie Tire in Mt Sterling had used, and that's where my car had been done a year ago.  So go figure that my parts were also poor quality. Thankfully the car isn't at Katie's this time.  We've never had an issue with quality of the parts used at Craig's.
The rabbits are doing really good though.  Well health wise.  Breeding wise not so much.  Both dutch does lost their litters to the cold.  Odd for Legends to lose hers and Jolenes were 3 days old before they froze.  Then Cricket gave me a gorgeous litter of 8 in a nice rainbow of color.  I've got black, blue, lilac and even a single chocolate baby in that litter.  I am very pleased how this litter came out.  Mirror is pregnant to Trick due tomorrow.  I am hopeful for a good live litter out of her.  So far Trick hasn't proven to be a decent herd buck at all.  I will keep trying him for a little while and see what happens.  Hopefully I can get a good replacement out of him and move him on. Whoever thought the saying "breed like rabbits" could ever be so wrong? 

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Independent

Nothing huge or major has been happening  here at all.  It's been bitterly cold, unusually cold for Kentucky.  We spent 2 weeks under freezing daily and it makes the rabbits water dishes hell to do.  I had piles of ice building up and up and it felt like there was no reprieve.  We finally broke out of the cold and did a warm swing for a week then yesterday was the start of another Arctic blast that will last for 4 or 5 days.  By next weekend I will be able to put my water bottles back and more than likely be able to leave them up.  Which is good, I need to start replacing my water bowls as I have cracked quite a few this time around.  Only one bowl cracked far enough to not be usable that I know of.  Dutch Willie's bowl might be cracked too far but right now it has to wait it out as there are no more spare bowls.  Natalie, Connie and Gerdy are all still hanging in there- for old rabbits they are taking this severe cold quite well.
I do have 2 of my dutch does bred for kits on Wednesday- Legends to Willie for a blue litter, and Jolene to Lantis for a tort litter.  I am hoping they survive this severe cold.  Then next up is next weekend is Lindsey to Trick and Cricket to Willie Spot.  Then last will be a week from now with GiGi to Willie Spot and Mirror to Trick so hopefully will have dutch and spot babies to post some pictures of.
Ayden however was a sore spot.  I laid him to rest on the 10th, we had intended to do it on the 12th anyway but his nose bled all day on the 9th so I struggled all day with him in the kennel in the back.  Finally Rex helped me euthanize him.  He was just barely 11 years old (1/4/07) but his Nasal Squamous cell carcinoma had finally gotten the worst of him.  I beat myself up thinking that it had been swollen before but he was managing but I *had * to do the punch biopsy to find out what it was.  The punch biopsy aggrevated the cells and made his nose blow up.  I knew we were on shorter time from there.  At least I have to admit he had a good life, and he had a lot more time than several other dogs that I know of for sure.  Gus, Brenda's bulldog, had 2 rounds of Chemo and his cancer came back and she had to put him down at 3 years old.  Then Jagger, a client's Dalmation, had some bone cancer in his left front and they amputated the whole leg in hopes of cutting it off.  3 months after amputation the stump blew up and we x-rayed his chest and found the stump was a huge tumor and it had spread into his lungs and they put him down on the 12th- he too was only 3 years old.  I'm glad that Ayden actually was older.  I can finally talk about him and even think about it without my eyes welling up. 





I got my new saddle for Tessa with some of my Christmas Bonus and I am so happy to report that it fits so now I can't wait to actually tack her up and try it.  I can't wait until I can try it.  It still doesn't fit Heidi so I will still have to keep Heidi english for the time being.  I am okay with that though.  Both mares are doing pretty good.  Tessa's weight has really come down and Heidi's as trim as she's always held in the winter.  I am letting them free choice on hay but still very limited grain.  They are both also naked.  I think I'm going to go back to my original plans of keeping them naked until they are older and truly require it.  

So hopefully soon they can get their feet trimmed and be ready for some riding!   If I play my cards correctly I can get them trimmed on Saturday and maybe go for a ride on Sunday!  Well I am going to switch back to the Armour again and see what happens as the week goes on. Worse case I figure if my sinus' go crazy again then I can at least call or email the doctor Friday and have him switch me back.  I have just enough of my pills set up to cover me through Friday's dose.  

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Merry Christmas


I have, thankfully, been in a much better mood.  I know the doctor's office dropped a bomb on me and made me upset, but I put a lot of honest thought into it and I decided to take my own results and take the knowledge into my own hands to learn.  My lipid's panel came back bad, so I have bad cholesterol.  FT4 came back still below normal but my TSH came back down to the high end of the normal range.  Doctor's office called and said everything was normal on the thyroid panel.  I had bad cholesterol and she said that Baker said I needed to watch my diet- or start some kind of diet and to exercise more.  Baker and I had a conversation about this whole thing when I was there.  He knows what is going on.    Still needs to come down and my FT4 still needs to get to the higher end of the range but it's slowly moving that way.  I'm struggling with another sinus infection though.  I've had a few of them now since upping tot he Armour 90.  So I really am honestly thinking that there's something about the medication that is setting off my sinus'.  Lately I have been in just such a good mood that I gave up the arguing with the doctors office.  A fellow AFGAFH lady and I have plans to keep each other honest and start working on weight loss in the New Year.  

As for New Year goals for 2018:

  • Get more debt paid off. 
  • Get Willow into some more training classes so we can continue Rally and Obedience
  • Get Heidi and Tessa both working under Western tack
  • Get riding lessons
  • Get more fit for work, cattle work is going to demand me to be more fit
  • Learn to be more patient and less bottling up of emotions  
  • At least start the apartment search if I don't get futher
  • Attempt to be more social- planning 2- 5k walk/run's
It's not much but I don't want to make high goals and then look back on this next Christmas and see how much of this I got accomplished and then realize that I haven't gotten hardly any of them accomplished.  

I have been doing okay with Rach and Ky actually.  I have been going through my friends list and deleting a bunch of people I do not talk to anymore or people that really don't give a crap.   I've got a lot of my own problems that I am trying to keep in control of, I don't need more stress.  

Well thinking of promises.  I promise to live as happy as possible and move forward with happiness and just do-it!  Our rain has finally started to change over to snow so with any hopes I will wake up Christmas morning to a dusting of snow!  

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Not quitting yet.

So this past week has been I think the worst Rollercoaster ride that I've had in such a long time. Between Grandma back on the 7th at the hospital and then the stressful roller coaster ride after that it's been awful.  Cousin Becky has been down the whole past week and I finally got to see her today and it's been just awesome knowing she has gotten grandma to perk back up and be more responsive.  She wasn't today though.  So I don't know what to think is happening there.  She seemed to shudder in pain or something while we were there.  Spent the whole hour quietly or talking to dad.  It's getting harder to sit there with her.  I just know that someday she will be gone and that's what keeps me going.  
Doctors visit Thursday afternoon was not the nicest for sure.  This time I red flagged high for depression.  He asked me if I wanted to take something for it, and I declined.  I know most of it is stress.  I think once I de-stress a lot of the depression will go away.  I know at least now that I am starting to relax it will get better.  We did re-do the thyroid panel and it's getting better but it's still showing high hypo.  At least my TSH has come back into the high end of the normal range, it's not over the top, and my FT4 is still below normal range but it's coming up.  My FT3 is coming up as well but still at the low end of the normal range.  So I started, on my own, that I upped my medication and when I weigh in on Monday I will see.  He also did a lipids panel this time and all those numbers are off; flagged either high or low.  I just need to get control here and now to start figuring out how to do that and keep de-stressing as I am going.   
I know this is a medical post really, but honestly I actually did go out today after visiting grandma and just brushed my two big girls out and treated their feet and I honestly felt so much better.  I would love to still get them and myself into a better position so that I can actually do more and have more fun but even just taking care of them makes me happy.  It felt good to actually get a good brush through them.  I haven't been able to even get a good grooming over them in a long time.  I can't wait for spring so it's brighter when I get home again and I can start to do more.  Winter over all is a bit depressing.  
Dad and Becky had a point, and I know my aunts have all brought it up to me on numerous occasions but, I need to go back to school and get my certificate for Vet Tech.  If I thought I could honestly afford it I would.  I just don't want to mess up what I have.  I like working with the vets I work with.  Honestly they are some of the best folks.  Sure they annoy me at times but what job doesn't have it's annoying times.  I really do like where I am.  I also at this point cannot afford to go back to college.  I have 8 months left to pay on my student loans as it is so it's coming- slowly.  I have so many plans for this coming year that I honestly don't know if I have the TIME to do all of it.  Soon I will work on next years goals.  Soon.  Just need, and want to have a nice weekend before I go back into the get ready for the work week syndrome!  

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Wake up

Well after the minor blow up last Tuesday seemed to have calmed me back down.  I am so glad that I finally got it off my chest.  It seemed to help the week flow by a lot better and I was able to focus more on what is going on around my little world. 

My health was at the fore-front for the most part.  I had the clinic junk going last weekend, and Monday Doc and Scotty both said get a Z-pack and it will clear it up a lot faster.  So I did and now that I am going back to my normal allergy issues and some sinus stuff but I think once I get my gut back in line the sinus problems will slowly dissipate on their own.  At least I hope so.  I *HAVE* to call my doctor's office and get an afternoon appointment- preferably before Christmas to have another blood draw done.  I've been so tired.  Last night I slept a solid 8 hours.  Willow woke me up to go poddy and I let her out, told her to go pee and then I went pee, let her in and went back to bed for another 2 hours.  I have been trying to doze on and off all day long.  I've been exhausted for days really.  Part of me wants to randomly up my Armour but I'm afraid to in case it's just too much. 

Thursday was a drop and kick in the bucket for me.  Thursday I got a Text from Aunt Boo saying Stanton was trying to get a hold of Lisa and needing a POA for Grandma.  And she had sent a text to Dad.  I knew that dad had gone home and the sheep hauling was the following week. I texted back that I would try to get a hold of them and that the sheep haul was the 13th.  So I called Lisa's house, got nothing, then called home, and was talking to dad on speaker phone and messaging Lisa through Facebook.  Grandma was on her way to Clark Regional and Lisa wanted someone there when she got there, so, thankfully it was 4 pm, I showed Debbie what was going on and I took off for Clark Regional.  I was there just a few minutes after Grandma got there @ 4:20 pm.  Good thing I know the back roads to get off Bypass in Winchester.  Got me down there much faster.  Anyway.  I went into Trauma 3 where grandma was and I started talking to her and she looked towards me and smiled.  That did make me smile.  I talked to the nurses some, and wouldn't allow them to do anything until Lisa got there.  After that initial smile she dropped back to her unresponsive state. I talked to the nurses and answered what questions I could.  First time in over a week I finally saw Aunt Lisa.  Wasn't the way I wanted to see her, nor the place and I pray she doesn't get my cold as I wait for it to finish passing.  Lisa stayed with Grandma and sent me the message Friday that Grandma was diagnosed with Pneumonia and pulmonary embolisms.  They were able to give her IV antibiotics but couldn't give her any blood thinners to help with the blood clots in her lungs because her blood is already so thin.  Late Friday night she made it back to Stanton Nursing Home and into Hospice care.  So this morning Dad and I skipped going to visit.  Let her re-gain her bearings.  I will see her next Saturday.  I know Lisa went down today to get everything set in order with Hospice.  I will stop by church tomorrow and let Lee know so hopefully he and Cricket can go down and see her at least once more.  I honestly hope she goes to see Jesus sooner rather than later.  I know she's in pain and I'd rather she doesn't.  She doesn't need to harbor that kind of pain anymore. 

I do my best and tomorrow morning after morning clinic I will go by her place with her Christmas present on my way to Paris to meet with Amy and get my tort dutch do and hand over the English Spot buck Foster for a 4Her.  It will be so nice to see people outside of my coworkers and the clients and someone that I enjoy seeing! I need to go out and socialize more.  I kind of can't wait for everything to happen so the next two work weeks go on a bit faster and get on with the Christmas holiday.  I can't wait to see everyone and I'm eager for a good long weekend. 

Today has been the first snowfall.  I was supposed to go to the company Christmas dinner and after getting to the far exit on the interstate I said NO, turn around before someone hits you. So I did.  No steak and seafood for dinner for me, instead it was hot dogs but I smile as I see so many people stranded and know I turned around BEFORE it got ugly and I was home, safe and sound.  So many roads are closed and it's a driver's warning out there.  Tomorrow morning I can get the camera out and get pics of everybody out in the snow.  This is the last holiday season for Ayden.  Likely in January we will put him to sleep.  He has Squamous cell carcinoma's in his nasal cavity- ie an inoperable cancer so his nose just keeps swelling up and right now one nostil is swollen shut.  No amount of steriods is helping and to me his nose smells necrotic and I am hoping it can hold out until January before we have to put him down.  Right now he's happy and not really struggling to breath so it's just a watch and wait game.  He will tell us when he's had enough I hope. 

Not the most uplifting post but still a post to go forward off!  I've woken up and I am going forward in thoughts medical and life in general.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Distance


There has been a heck of a disappointment going this past weekend.  Social Media is a blessing and a curse all at the same time.  It does leave me knowing a lot of where I stand with people and the thing being is it's not right in anyway shape or form.  Sometimes I hate cutting ties with people and sometimes it's just one of those things that you have to do in order to move on with what has happened.  People make things so damn difficult to stay friends.  And not to super sugar coat anything but Rae and Mich had em so upset this past weekend, that add that to the clinic junk I had going through my body I just downright felt like shit.  

*Ranting Starts*

Just to take it back and start at the beginning.  I first met Mich on her first day of Kindergarten.  We were a K-12 school, LOVED Argyle CSD, and she lived across the road from us on her grandfather's Christmas Tree farm and we all walked up to the end of the road to Coon road to catch the bus.  I took her everywhere with me for the longest time until she was I think around 12 or 13.  Then she, with what I am presuming her other grandfather's influence split us up and made it so she didn't come around anymore but she was allowed over at Rachel's.  But in those many years, she would come to ACC with me when I had to work on Saturdays(or was it Sunday's, it was a long time ago) in the lighting studio and there was when I really taught her to read really well.  She knew but hated it because it wasn't as easy for her.  I started with Into the Land of the Unicorns (Bruce Coville, Unicorn Chronicles #1) and from there we moved to A Horse Called Wonder (Johanna Campbell, Thoroughbred series #1).  It didn't take long for her to get to upper reading levels above her age range.  
To attempt to make a longer story short, (Too Late!  Whoops, shouldn't have watched Clue last night), she graduated from College this past weekend.  I didn't even so much as get a message saying she was.  Does she know how proud I am of her?  Going from hating school as an elementary student, to doing good and graduating college?  Probably not.  Does she even give a rats as$ about me anymore?  Very Unlikely.  She she even remember all that from back then?  Also not likely.  Everything for her has revolved around Rachel.  
Rachel's another one that I used to be inseparable from.  And I would say the last 4 years has done nothing but go downhill.  I had an episode already, January '14 of distrust in them so why would now be any different.  Though that one was Ky and Rachel at that point I hadn't even reconnected with Michelle. While I'm on good ground, I think, with Kylie it does make me want to completely disconnect off social media and see what happens. I'm done being the 'nice' person.  I am hoping this coming spring to do a trip north and visit so I can visit Mark, Trish, Auntie and Unc and probably Kylie depending on school/work etc, but I don't think I'll make the effort to visit Rachel and Michelle, especially knowing that she can't even make the effort to have a conversation with me.  I don't even want to hear the whole, I gotta work thing.  I was working 50 hours a week at Nestle and *STILL* made the time to talk to her, and she's not making that effort.  Couldn't even give me the decency to tell me Michelle was graduating.  Michelle couldn't give it to me either so as they saying goes "Whatever!"  Just wait until they want something from me and I tell them nope!   
Maybe I am being harsh, maybe I'm just over tired and I am being a witch I don't know but I do know that what there is between Rachel and me, and Michelle and me is not much of a friendship- not to me.  It does take effort from both parties and my efforts have gone un answered so now they are no longer there.  

*End Rant*

Plus perks- the clinic junk has me on a Z-pack and Monday was just a laughing afternoon.  I don't know what on earth had me so wound up but it was crazy.  I think last night's wind up was from too much Ale 8.  That's what I get for drinking it.  I don't drink soda much anymore but when I do it's typically Ale 8 now.  So hopefully I do better today and sleep better tonight, than I did yesterday.  Heidi, Tessa and Willow are all doing great!  It's just me that's slacking and having issues.  

Part of me hopes Rachel finds this and reads it and is as hurt by it as I am by her and part of me just hopes she and I drift apart and stay that way.  I'm not confrontational, I'm just used up.  I have so much more to look forward to in life and it's time to go for it and find my way.  

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Becoming

Life is different right now I'm actually thinking about the future and I'm actually optimistic lately.  I don't know why I don't know how things are really going to play out but I am bent and determined to go forward and enjoy life no matter what my health throws into the mix.  I've been happy, grumpy but happy if that makes sense.  I know I still have so many bridges to cross but I'm looking forward to crossing those bridges!  
I have started to do better with my eating and taking my vitamins and supplements.  It's paying off so far, I think.  Jess, Mom and I are doing a weightloss challenge and so far I am the ONLY one of us that is below starting weight.  While I still want to lose more and do it faster but slow and steady is way better than dropping it hard and fast and getting sick.  I got a minor mirror shock today catching a glimpse of my own reflection and I said I have to learn to love this women looking back at me.  I figured I may not like her right now but that's who I am.  I want to be stronger. I want to be more fit.  I have plenty of wants to become a healthier me, but I have to start with being happy to start with.  
Horses are actually doing great!  I am very happy with them.   Tessa's starting to lose weight and Heidi's doing great weight wise.  Both still chubby but I'm not fit and trim so I don't see why they should be kept fit and trim.  I'm hoping to start Heidi on a joint supplement and put her back on the Spirulina wafers again.  Looks like I'll go through about 3 jars of them a month.  It'll get Pricey but so long as it keeps it both girls happy I will do it!  I might eventually just add spirulina pellets to Tessa's smartpak and then just get the wafers for Heidi.  Not sure yet what to do there. 




The bunnies, well the bunnies are there.  I know old man winter is coming in and going to hit much more hard core next week.  I'm still holding small and steady with what few rabbits I have.  I bred 3 does and I have 2 positive palpation's for litters next week.  1 dutch, 1 english spot.   I'm still unsure if I will continue them harder in the spring or not.  
Happy days coming forward.  I'm going to go forward from today, feeling as fresh as possible and focusing on my health, and my girl's health.  My girls are getting older, faster than I am but doesn't mean I can't get things figured out before that.   
                                                                      💕💕💕
                                                                          Heidi, Tessa & Willow  💖💖💖