Saturday, November 10, 2018

Not quitting!

Been a long few weeks.  I feel like they all just disappeared.  I worked and slept and that's about all.  I am starting to feel a little bit of a monetary cramp as I have been feeding hay and both mares have been losing weight fantastically- but I have yet to break my normal 278-285 range.  I bounce between all of it.  I actually tried the Apple Cider Vinegar with honey in water today and almost gagged.  I think it's the smell actually.  I have finally gotten my sinus' clear and even with a cold right now they are staying pretty clear.  Granted I am taking a crap load of pills which was what I wanted to avoid in the first place but I am hoping that if I can hold myself at all these pills I can eventually drop the Zyrtec.  I take one of the doTerra vitamins(supposed to take 4 daily), a milk thistle, my HBP pill, a Zyrtec and a L-Lysine tablet all at lunch.  Both Milk Thistle and L-Lysine are both supposed to help with weightloss but the L-Lysine is an immune supporter and Milk Thistle is a liver/kidney booster and de-tox.  So I am totally ready to kick some butt and see how this goes this coming week with all of these pills on board and with the Southern Lights 5K coming up on Thursday it would be totally awesome I hope.  I may not be able to run much of it at all because my foot is acting up and is stupid sore again.  This time it's bruising mildly.  But I don't want to think about things so negative.  

I haven't started doing much work with Willow, we have just been enjoying as much time outside as the weather has allowed.  For the most part I try not to get her so muddy being outside and running around but she loves it so much. I am trying to keep her feet trimmed up so that she tracks as little mud as possible.  I think she will come with me to the 5K I think she will like it, even if I have to leave her in the car while I am on coarse.  I loving the time I spend with her and the less time I have spent on Facebook.  I'm quite content other than my time that I have spent with my horses.  It has been so flipping wet out there in the pasture, it's just a mud pit again.  I hope the rain quits for a while and the ground can dry out so I can at least get the girls working on the lunge line again and do something.  I want to get out and ride again but I do have to wait some on losing some weight.  So does having lessons.  

I need to get something coming now together.  I've thought of trying to do Halter and Showmanship with Tessa but now I've lost all confidence in my ability to do anything with them.  I am hopeful that my confidence will come back as I start working with them (if it will quit raining that is!). 
I skipped out on the rabbit show today, I just plum didn't want to go.  My rabbits are not ready at all to go up against the other big breeders.  I got the two new does in and I need to get them bred out for some spring babies but I also am scared to breed them as it has turned cold already.  Time for sleep, I have morning clinic tomorrow then it'll be run home and get laundry going, plus clean rabbit cages.  So many things I want to do, need to do and so on.  Time to do something!  Sleep first and go from there.  

Saturday, October 20, 2018


I have been doing a lot of dreaming lately.  Some dreams don't make any sense but some I just wish I could make come true. I know I can with good hard work and it will take time but I want to get so much more of it coming true NOW.  I am being impatient. I know God has a plan for me, I know he does.  He wouldn't bring me onto this path if he didn't have a plan.
     Some of my dreams was winning the lottery.  If I did I can just about guarantee that I would get 3 horses.  Truly, David Howard's Paint gelding and Becky's mare.
Truly: I fell in love with her when I was boarding Heidi at Tamarack   

Becky's mare, I don't even know her name

I don't have pictures of David Howards paint gelding.  All of them have something wrong.  I would love to have a "mistfit" farmstead.  I know Truly is something in her back or hips, Becky's mare has bad elbows and David Howards gelding has something wrong with his legs. Becky's mare and Tessa would likely either become a pair of broodmares or them together with Truly and the gelding would all turn into my future show horses, I have really gotten the bug to want to try showing in halter classes.  Becky's mare is AQHA, Tessa and DH's gelding is APHA and I'm not sure which Truly is.  I have a penpal up in Ohio that has Appaloosa's that she halter shows.  Sounds like a fun new adventure.  But lastly I cannot afford 3 horses, nor have room for 3 horses, so having 5 would be beyond my limit of everything

I have such a soft spot for old or 'damaged' animals.  Patrick had this old chihuahua brought in last weekend hit by a car or tossed from a car or something and I couldn't see the poor thing left in a cage all weekend at the clinic.  Thankfully I have a wonderful loving father and he let me bring it home for the weekend.  It's really taken to Jessica and I have been expressing her bladder several times a day since she can't do it herself.  She kind of looks like a little gremlin.  Willow doesn't like her much, she's jealous of it but it's only for a weekend.  Patrick mentioned something about putting her to sleep Monday because she can't control her bladder, and I fear she has kidney issues with the lack of bladder control and add on top of it a broken leg.  She's loving all the love and attention she's been getting from Jess.  

I'll probably cry if Patrick does put her to sleep.  She's been such a good little thing.  It has given Jess something to look forward to and something to do.  I just have such a soft spot for old and need a soft spot to land kind of animals.  

Willow- thinking of her.  It's cooled down and we haven't done much, but hopefully tomorrow will change all that. We are going to go to Lowes in the morning for some orange construction fence to keep the neighbors dog out of our backyard.  May not be pretty but that's not my problem.  Keep the dogs out of our yard is all I care about.  

The big girls are doing pretty good.  Tessa had another round of thrush and then finally blew an abscess.  Second abscess I have ever had to deal with!  Been a while.  It's been good with them and I Hope to continue to do good.  I think with the rabbits getting cut back I should be okay.  I'm just so frustrated trying to sell some decent show stock.  I might totally give up showing and breeding them.  I haven't fully decided but the mouse problem IS getting out of hand.  Time to cut them back and get the mouse problem under control. 

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Just my little world


My girls are my life.  I will have to say and admit full front.  This past week off has solidified my love for my Equine girls, Heidi and Tessa.  Heidi Hasn't been touched with tack since March 16th and on my birthday, Aug 29th, I tossed Tessa's saddle on Heidi after trying Heidi's english and the girth wasn't long enough, and off we went.  The saddle was pinching her and she still behaved.  She still had some serious issues with the big horse flies but it wasn't too bad.  Didn't last long because of the heat.  Same with today when I tossed Tessa's saddle on her and rode her around the pasture some.  Heidi was not helpful and tagged along with us but She just felt so solid under me and my mind can't wrap around how short she really is.  But she's solid.  The 5.5 years  she spent with Joey and the training he gave her made her the wonderful mare that she is today.  I am glad of that really.  She went from January 27th to September 2nd between rides, granted I did lunge her twice last week.  

I have never been more proud of my equine children.  They have been set to the side for the summer with occasional grooming due to my anxiety and my lack of energy to haul tack over to ride.  I did go ahead and put a western draft treed saddle on my card so I can switch Heidi to riding western completely and I don't really plan much on looking back!  I have always been more comfortable western.  I think the english saddle has been causing some anxiety when it comes to riding.  Now that the english pads and everything but the saddle are tucked into the bottom of my tack trunk I just want to go out and ride- now just need the temps to come back to some decent temps, make riding much nicer!  

My youngest child, Willow, still needs her spot!  She's been doing what she can but right now with the temps so high it's hard to work on training.  I have about a week left to see about entering Ques4U's Rally trial at the end of September.   That's also a weekend that Drache Feld are out of town and I'll have to take care of them.  I will text Becky Tuesday to see if I might be able to swing a Sunday Trial 2 showing just to put us back in the ring.  I just can't remember if there are any other fall shows if there isn't there isn't any point in it until later.  I'm not sure completely yet.  I DO want to show again, I DO want to move forward with it, but I also don't want to put us back in the ring this soon and then just not get to show again for months.  
Thinking of we did go 'shopping' over at Bluegrass Classic and I actually saw several mini aussie's there.  Makes me very happy to see it.  I want to get a second one soon but I NEED to get my own place first.  And no, I don't mean an apartment.  I need my own home.  

Willow needs a sister.  I know she needs a playmate and a friend to play with someday.  These girls are my life.  I would love to keep the rabbits in there but sometimes that's not in the books to do.  I haven't ruled them out yet but I *have* decided if I need to I will let them go if I have to.  
I do have something for dorsal strips.  The spots have them, anything Dun(red like Phoenix was, or gold like Tessa) or even the Grulla.  That's what I plan on getting in the future is a Grulla QH gelding.  15.2 hands preferred.  Anyway, that's future plans and I can just wait it out and see how everything pans out.  

Tuesday, August 28, 2018


Well our few months at Aunt Lisa's for the big girls was over.  Her field needs some time to recover for the sheep for the winter, so on the 25th, Nelson came over and hauled the girls home.  Tessa balked at the trailer at first because it was a higher step up than she was used to, but a little bit of encouragement and she hopped up.  I was a little worried she wouldn't load, I remembered the first time we tried to load her as a 2 year old, onto Nelson's trailer to move her home and we tried for almost an hour to get her on and couldn't get her on.  The 5.5 years she spent with Joey he did a lot of training work with her and he hauled her all over the place.  So her balking kinda scared me but she loaded.  But Heidi loaded as I expected her to.  I know she was a pain in the ass to load onto Lisa's trailer to bring her over to Lisa's, but I figured with Tessa already on the trailer Heidi * should * load right up- and she did.  Didn't miss a step at all.  Walked right up next to me.  Super thankful she is such a fantastic mare.  Tessa's no slouch on the fantastic mare aspect either, but I still say that I will not get another mare after these two, unless I find a guy that is into raising QH's and Paints. I also talked to Nelson a little about maybe bringing Heidi over to meet a stud in the next year or two.  I am just scared to get a filly foal.  Though Nelson said he preferred his fillies over colts.  
Anyway, the girls came home and have been so comfortable together.  I finally went and got some fly spray because the big horse flies were bothering the crap out of the two.  

Wormed them on Sunday and Monday and Tuesday I lunged Tessa about 5-10 minutes each day.  Hoping sometime before the weekend to get on her and ride.  Might be bareback.  I did get my saddle scrubbed clean.  It's been sitting so long it was all covered in mold.  I am hoping this drive I have had the last couple of days continues so that I will get on both girls before I go back to work. 

Sad part is the rabbits seem to have gotten pushed to the wayside.  I keep telling myself I simply cannot keep up with all the different animals.  Sadly the dog show in September is out because I have to work at Drachefeld.  I am tempted to bring my sister and 'teach' her to do it so I can do the show still but I don't want to make Becky mad at me either.  So I guess until Mikey is back and I can have choice weekends free to continue showing I guess dog shows are out of the question. 

So eventually I guess I will have to find a new loophole to go through with future plans.  I REALLY would like to find a guy that's totally decent and worth my time to deal with.  I would really like to get married someday.  The girls at work made jokes saying I needed to get married so I could get divorced and join them in their divorced crowd.  Honestly I don't want to get married just to get divorced again and be apart of their 'crowd'.  But I would love to get married someday to a man that's worth it.  I am still searching for a decent place to move into with some of my paycheck now being freed up,  all that is left right now is credit card debt.  I am putting cash aside for a newer car for myself.   

Friday, August 10, 2018


It's been another month of craziness.  Been working, house sitting and working some more!  Again I haven't' spent any time what so ever with Heidi and Tessa, but I have settled on a date to bring them home- the 25th.  I just have to go talk to Nelson and see if he'd trailer the girls back out to dad's.  I never did get the large chunk of the fence replaced but I am going to see if I can't borrow the electric tape to just put up but not connect to the electric to help keep my girls off the fence and possibly continue to replace fencing.  I do miss my girls. I have learned so much that horses are just my release and I miss having them around.  I know I could always go over and mess with them I just never have the energy especially by the time I drive over there and now I am in the drive to get hay put up in the barn for them for winter. 

Becky did learn her mare didn't take to breeding twice now so she will be trying to find her a good home and as much as I do like the mare, I don't want another mare and I know I couldn't afford to feed/take care of another horse in general.  Granted breed her over to Tessa's sire and get a dun, likely red dun foal but to me no garuntee that I'd get a colt to geld. Also David Howards got a yearling paint gelding that was GORGEOUS but has lameness issues and not worth much, I wouldn't mind messing with it- but again no room or finances to take care of 3 horses. 
I want to do more with them, just like I want to do more with a lot of things.  I am planning right now on doing so much stuff with them when they are home again.  I still haven't quit looking for my own place but I am looking right now at clearing debt.  One more week and I'll be doing the last payment on my student loans!  Makes me so excited to finally clear that one.  Lastly left is credit card debt! Next thing to save up for is the newer car while I am paying down/off credit card debt.  
The last week I spent at Mrs Fu's was stressful.  I was there Sunday through Sunday.  Mom blew a tire on the Nissan in Lexington and had to go get that, and leave them my car and I was driving my truck with no brake lights, then they bust my car (okay, okay, it was just a half dead alternator).  That drove me batty and I lost so much money behind driving my truck.  I didn't sink but it was enough to irritate me to no end.  I've been stressed out the last couple of months and I am so mentally worn out.  I have tried a new thyroid supplement.  I'm not sure it's helping or not but I am thinking it's helping some.  I try to not take it daily as it feels like it does set my sinus' off at times.  
Willow and I did get through 1 training class before all the mayhem hit.  I am intending to continue home training shortly and push forward.  Aunt Lisa sent me a premium for a September show and THAT one I am pretty sure I can make and get back into the ring.  Do a Rally Novice B and at least get back into the ring.  I am ready to start doing some training work on top of working my horses. 
I still rollercoaster ride back and forth through depression episodes and I am trying to get a better control.  I had a stronger depression episode this past week and then starting Thursday  it swung from the depression to anger issues.  I was so angry at work that I was personally just a foul person to be around.  I tried to angle my ways outside and away to try and minimize the damage.  
Many plans, many goals and I am happy to say I am starting to move forward.  I'm still house hunting, it's just hard to find somewhere that I can afford on my salary and still have the room to keep my horses.  

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Moving Forward

So it's been almost a month again but so far nothing major has been going on really.  I have continued to cut rabbits back out of the barn.  Gerdy passed away on her own after not bouncing back from a tooth abbcess like she should have.  Granted she was old but the antibiotics just hit her harder than she could come back from.  I did daily probiotics on her as well to try and counter the antibiotics but it wasn't enough for the 8+ year old rabbit.  I feel guilty like I should have seen it sooner or something.  Thankfully I didn't lose any to heat stroke though.  A friend of mine lost 5 English Spots to heat stroke and he even has fans in his barn.  It included Precious, the Willy x Cricket baby I had wanted to keep back to show but had a toe chewed off. I will do that cross again.  I just have to slim down my number of rabbits because Even after House sitting for Mrs Fu, and then July 6th-8th at Patrick's, I have to pay someone else to take care of my rabbits.  I have also slacked some on taking better care of them.  Heat and all today I pulled all my senior dutch out and clipped nails- they were atrociously long.  Tomorrow I will do the English Spots.  I'm still toying with keeping Trick for now.  I might, I don't know.  I just know I hate the idea of moving Mirror on, but the guy that lost Precious and 4 others, is getting her to help rebuild his herd again.  Helps me get my numbers down.  I need to keep less of them for more house sitting.  

The horses are just getting fat on pasture.  I haven't done a thing with them honestly.  I tried to put a grazing muzzle on Tessa and that made her an angry mare.  After a week I ended up taking it off.  She was angry, making a disaster for everyone else. Monday Michael will be there to trim and I might ask him about someone to lease her.  I love her, she's queen bitch mare out there- despite being the youngest and smallest.  Ellie and Heidi will stand nose to tail and swat flies with each other until Tessa comes over.  I honestly need to start doing something with them.  This heat just saps the drive out of me to do anything.  

Well Breyerfest was this weekend at the Horse Park.  I didn't go to the Horse Park but Aunt Lisa and I went down to the Clarion Hotel where they do the swap meet and I went looking mostly for scratch models for painting.  I have a decent list of horses I wanted to get painted: Drifter, Honey, Truly, Amber, Sherralyn and I still forgot to get a model for Bo.  Drifter, Honey and Truly are all going on the same mod- stock horse mare, and I wanted to switch Tessa off the mold(Stock horse mare) she is currently on to Indian Pony mold.  So I luckily found 2 stock horse mares and one indian pony that are stratched.  Never found a Marabella for Sherralyn but did find Family Arabian mare for her instead, it's the same mold that Jasmine is on.  Granted the leg is broke off but the piece is still there and I do know how to re-attach the broken piece.  The black mare I'm not sure what I am going to do with her.  I might use that for a traditional sized Bailey.

The Gem Twist model I don't know what I am going to do with him.  I found him for $3, with his tail despite its broken off.  The John Henry model I just have to bend the leg back out and I'll either put Bootsie or Spencer on it. 

There was a list of horses I wanted to find for myself.  A couple I *KNEW* I could find but couldn't' afford at this time.  I was looking at the Grulla paint mare in the Lady Phase mold and I found it online to be in a couple of different rooms for $100 so I had mentally written her off but I found her for $20 down in the community/ball room of the hotel right before we left and I snatched her up.  I also picked up Savannah Dial, she's a scratch but I didn't realize those feathers are raised on her so she'll be a display model until I figure out what to do with her.   I also found and got another carousel ornament.  I have downloaded all the pictures of each ornament so now when I unpack all mine I can thusfore delete their pictures if I have them so I know which ones to continue to look for.  Sadly no Hidalgo, Stunt Double, Rain and the original Spirit were found.  Bobby Jo and the other red dun tobiano I wanted were limited Editions so were very $$$$$$$.  

Anyway, I was quite happy with my loot from Breyerfest Swap.  I was out late Friday night for it and I didn't get panicky until I was in the ballroom- the last place we stopped before we left.  I even managed to get The Black Stallion traditional for my aunt since I know she loves Arabians faces and black horses.  
Then Saturday morning/today, I started some dog training classes with Willow.  It's hard to go back to basics and get a more solid foundation on her.  I have been doing the exercise Becky told me last weekend and we didn't get hardly anywhere with them all week.  But suddenly today it was like the light went on.  Kinda made me feel stupid, like we hadn't been practicing.  But we are getting there.  I am thrilled with the progress.  But I think I will wait until Bluegrass to take the hit.  If I enter Greater Louisville, I will likely do a Rally Novice which will mean switching over to B class.  I'm not sure if it will be of a help to do it.  Becky said to either do a Novice coarse or take an intermediate if I wanted to stay in A before I jump to advanced since it's off leash.  Intermediate is advanced signs and everything but it's on leash.  I think I might go for the intermediate at Louisville just to get our feet 'wet' again and then shoot for Advanced at Bluegrass.  I will see what Becky recommends next weekend after our class.  Novice B or Intermediate.   I want to at least get through Advanced and through Novice Obedience.  I don't think we can handle Open Obedience.  Though Becky might be able to push us to it if I want to.  Honestly I really like the Rally better so I might stay there.  Get our CD and call it good and go back to Rally?  I don't know yet.  I have to see how the training goes. 
So for right now I am still paying down debt and working every weekend.  But house hunting is still on.  I just have to figure out what to do with the horses.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Long awaited update

I know it's been a while, long while.  But I have been in my own head thinking a lot and trying to make adjustments to life.  With Tessa at my aunts, getting fat on the pasture I had Heidi home and very mopey without her friend.  Even when they were in heat and nipping each other they were still partners.  So I was told if I strung the hot wire we could move Heidi over.  Some hot weekends commenced and we got the hot wire strung and my mares re-united.

I am glad the mares are happy, even if they are all taking turns coming into heat and nipping each other.  It also makes it hard to tell where all the mares are in hierarchy.  Tessa had gained up so much of her weight all from pasture.  I am unsure if I want to try and put a grazing muzzle on her or just talk to Michael next time he comes to trim and see if he or a trusted friend would like to lease her(we can work out arrangements then) Something to help her get in shape and give me time to get myself back in shape and also get them set for the fall/winter as well.  I want to start riding again and part of me wants to lease Tessa and then start Lessons on a lesson horse since Heidi's not fit to be a lesson horse. 

Willow has been doing quite well in her off leash heeling, so much that I am contemplating entering the august Rally trial in Louisville.  Part of me thinks we will make fools of ourselves and part of me says- do it!  Never know until you try.  So I will continue to work on it until I have to send the entry forms in.  That gives me almost a month right now to keep working.   My Rally signs which have the new ones in it I can start to prepare us for a Rally Advanced coarse.  I just hope we can do it! 

Rabbits- oh well that opens a new can of worms.  I've been fussing to put together cages today and stack hay in the barn and Been fighting with Mice.  Rat poison is still being eaten so I know they are still around.  I killed a mouse myself today in a bucket.  I just can't keep up with this fighting rodents.  So I am doing a full herd reduction.  I've got so many of them I am going to part with.  Intention is to keep under 10 not counting Gerdy, Natalie and Connie.  Just balancing between Dutch and English Spots will be hard. 

Then thinking about showing this fall will be tough.  I've started doing house sitting apparently, I didn't mean to start it, about like I didn't mean to really start working at Drachefeld either.  But it just happened.  Drachefeld I started while Mikey was gone and I really enjoy doing them.  I like the German Shepherds, and I have no issue with them.  It's so calm and peaceful out there.  Then Mrs. Fu approached me about staying with her dogs while she was gone to a horse show.  Mrs Fu is the main owner over Dragonsmeade farm, and Drachefeld so for me it was hard to say no.  And she said bring your puppy with you, so Willow came.  Willow had a blast running with her whippet Skye in the backyard.  I would not hesitate to do it again.  4 days no wifi except what my phone picked up.  It was the best change I have had in a long time.  I would spend my evenings with the 5 dogs (Muchacho, Skye, Maudie, Gloria and Willow) sketching and watching NCIS Los Angeles that I had on my external.  It was lovely and I did so well, I enjoyed going out and seeing all the horses there.  Granted they were Morgan's not the Quarter Horse or Paints that I love (and even a good blanket Appaloosa)..  But couldn't resist the foals!

But I feel like everything is happening for a reason.  Doing more house sitting, and working at Drachefeld is keeping me from spending a lot of time and resources on my rabbits so they are starting to phase out.  Now after house sitting for Mrs Fu, Patrick has asked me to stay a couple nights at his place with his dogs.  I have no problems doing it, and I even jumped at the opportunity to do it.  So rabbits MUST be phased out or at least down.  It will be an interesting to have a life without rabbits.  Much easier to travel and do things, but I will miss my tuxedo rabbits and my spine striped beauties.  I will keep a few of them but there has got to be less.  I have to assume that something is changing in my life and hopefully guiding me to something better.