Ready To Go

     I'm sitting here at my aunt and uncles watching tv shows with them while we get ready to go to bed.  It's 9:30, we're watching Continuum and I'm working here and Facebook.  I'll plug in the laptop so I can charge up my cell phone as well before taking off tomorrow and using my cell phone tonight as an alarm clock.  It's an early morning but tomorrow night I'll be in Sunny and warmer Florida.  While we don't look forward to the trip, it shouldn't really be that bad.  I can't wait until I can get home again.  I do like doing trips but I will miss sleeping in my own comfy bed.  It'll be fun taking Tinks with us, I haven't been around some well behaved dogs.  Okay well Tinks had a bad day today, got a hold of one of the chickens.  It's a shame I think she could do well as an agility dog.  Maybe one day soon I will get myself down to just Heidi and keep her and possibly Bailey as pets.  Give up the idea of showing horses and rabbits for a while.  I think I could do Rally or Agility.  I know I could do anything I put my mind to doing but First will need a better job that doesn't kill all my time and then get my puppy and start training it.
     I miss my bunnies and Bailey already, and it'll be over a week since I last saw Heidi if I get over to her on Monday evening when we get back here.  More than likely it'll have to wait until NEXT Friday when I hit my 5 day weekend.  If I do everything right, I'll have just her, and maybe Bailey now to find a nearby field to put the two in during the summer months to redo my field and bring Heidi home again.  I do miss having her at home.  I like having the arena to ride in and meeting some cool people but cost wise, home is the way better option.  
     Either way it's time for me to plug in my phone to charge that up and then get myself into bed. I'll need that in the morning.  Sleepy Time!

Last minute Prep

      A sentimental type of posting this time, partly due to the severe lack of sleep I had today.  It's been wild the last two days at work, I'll try to steer as far away from that fiasco as I can.  Got hoem for 2.5 hours of sleep just to get up, Get Ayden to the groomers, get a new pin for the truck door since that had fallen out, breakfast at Burger King with mom and then home with the rabbit feed.  Got Bailey and the bunnies fed, came in for a quick little bowl of soup and then off to pick up Ayden.  Took Ayden with me to Winchester Feed, stopped by Walmart then finally came home and put Bailey's sweet feed up in the barn.  I've got a few last minute changes to do before tomorrow night when I leave for Aunt Lisa's.  More of packing my meds is the pain in the arse. Certain ones I have to keep out.  If I miss the HBP med I'm not as worried but the Levothyroxine I can't skip.  
     Work has been terrible and it's just setting up to get worse and worse as it goes.  I've actually been putting a lot of thought into cashing out my 401K and using that to cover my bills while I go back to school again for Vet Tech.  It's a lot to think about, a seriously heavy thought has still to go into this.  I have a long drive to think about it again and just keep mulling over it.  10 hours from Grandma's to Aunt Anne's and then a 6 hour drive back to Aunt Lisa's on Monday to think it through some more.  On the plus side upon returning to work I go back to the Sauce room.  WAY earlier hours and better hours. 
     Well I need some serious sleep and my travels will be updated upon my return Monday night.  

Feeling good!

     I had Heidi out today and despite the bitter cold wind, we did some good riding again today.  My big girl continues to impress me and make me happy.  She's learning to hold a trot better, now to just continue to push and build the stamina.  Kayleigh (Lucky's mom)  has been out and looking for beginner students, and she's going to use Mary- one of the farm horses, to give lessons.  At first I'm going to take lessons on Mary as Heidi gets worked on, then take lessons on Heidi after that, and hopefully, talk to Lisa and Kayleigh and get them together to do lessons together.  I think doing a small group lesson would be awesome!  I can't wait.  So much going on in my head, so little type time.  

     Another thing that has come up is I'll be making a trip to Florida soon.  Not sure exactly when, but I have to go to Florida to help move my grandma up to Kentucky.  It'll mean taking some Personal leave and I'll do it.  My grandmother is worth way more than a couple of work days.  I'll figure out bills and what not, I'll even see if Allen could chip in something to help for a little while at least.  

     Plus while I'm in Florida I'll take Grandma's car up to see Dustin play.  I've been dying to see him play live, just hear his voice.  It's super late, took me a couple hours to get the internet back up and running so it's time for me to turn in and go to sleep.  I've got plenty to do as the week rolls into a split week.  Hopefully if everything rolls correctly, in one week I'll be in Florida.   

Big Mouth

     I have to say it, I should have just kept my mouth shut.  I was just cruising through Craigslist, like I always do and I saw an ad for 'two saddle horses' http://lexington.craigslist.org/grd/4379626618.html  and one is about as thin as Drifter was when she got here, the other like Bailey.

 
"I have for sale two horses i inherited a herd from a family member and i already have three of my own i do not need them or need the extra expience. I know both horses if any questions. I will take a 100 dollars a piece for them. Both saddle have great temperments. The choc could be in foal by a saddle strawberry roan the black one is a retired show horse but needs wieght on her badly she will fill out quikly and just because shes old means nothing she has no trot nopacing in her both are easy to catch. I need them gone by tjis weekend because the land there on will be sold and i have no room for them here at my place that is why they are cheap. Thanks call anytime (phone number omitted)"
     It's disgusting.  They actually THINK someone would pay for skinny horses?  Really?  Come on how stupid can people really be.  Like I had told Lisa when she dropped Drifter and Bailey off, I wasn't going to pay for them.  Paying for their rehab was more than enough.  I wonder where these poor things are going to end up.  For one I don't want/need another horse, for another, no trailer, and lastly, I wouldn't pay for a horse that was skinny unless it was something I REALLY wanted and wanted to put the rehab time/effort and care into.  What is wrong with the world today, where people can do this to an animal and flip it for a quick buck.  What happens if they don't sell them, they just going to leave them there to starve to death?  Makes me wish I would play and win the lotto to start up my own rescue farm and take these poor things in to live out their lives in peace.  Bailey with the black older mare and even the chocolate one too, just let them have a nice pasture, with a run in and hay/feed and be happy horses.  I don't know if I can do that.  
     At least Bailey's happy.  She's content, she'd love some company but even if the black mare was local to me, I wouldn't pay for her except transport.  But the trip to Berea isn't worth it.  

     I made the mistake of being flustered and stating it on AFGAFH and pissed off someone else.  I really at times just need to keep my mouth shut, I'm not good at venting and saying what I mean, just saying what comes to mind.  I don't know if she's ever had to deal with these idiots when she lived here.  There's a distinct difference in the intelligence levels with what area's people are from.  Plus the gaited horse community isn't as good as the TB or even the hunter/jumper communities.  Completely different communities or maybe it's just my clouded tunnel vision.  Maybe I am just being cynical, mean and rude.  I'm naturally this way. 

 I guess people just don't understand my way of thinking, I'm insensitive, I'm ME.  

  

Dreams continue

     Yesterday up with Heidi was AWESOME!  I was up, I rode Heidi and it was GREAT.  I pushed myself past my comfort zone.  Normally I only ride in the outdoor arena, and at max around the outside of the upper barn, which is right next to the outdoor anyway.  Yesterday, Heidi was ready to go, I went to the turn off for hte indoor and let her nibble some grass there, then back to the arena to let me get my wits about me.  Then after a couple laps around the arena, we went around the far side of the barn and out and up the road towards the indoor.  I finally took her out in the open.  I haven't done that in a LONG time.  I held her mouth firmly so she's probably a little sore today, but that's okay I won't be back up again until Tuesday to ride her.  I woke up today to sleet coming down.  I had thought and I was told that it wasn't going to come in until later today.  I had hoped to have gotten out a little bit and get some stuff done.  I did get out and get my extra saddle sold.  As much as I hated selling it, I needed the money.  Now I can afford to get March board paid.  I'm still keeping my extra bridle because I *LOVE* the browband on it and that I know I would get next to nothing for it and I did pay $60 for it second hand.   That I would rather hang onto.  Another saddle I can get, plus I'd get a dressage saddle if I did it over anyway.   I do know when I brought my half pad home I washed it with my jeans, on top of my jeans bleeding color it seems to have shrunk my half-pad slightly.  I'll have to order a new one.  I'm just double checking with Anita  to see how well they fit under a dressage saddle.  In case in the future I want to get a Wintec Wide Dressage saddle for her.

     Today was a bunny kinda day.  Does make me not want to get rid of them.  I was cuddling with Hermione, and Raven.  I was checking Raven's teeth, I've got them clipped back to her gums so I'm crossing my fingers that will help her re-grow them properly.  I keep kicking myself in the rear for not paying attention better.  I knew she was chewing on the cage wire. I should have stopped her sooner or something.  Hermione I'm taming down. I didn't get to play enough with her whole litter to make them super friendly.  I'll have to keep after her and keep working, but I'm super glad she's not aggressive.  She's really well marked and she climbs up on me as well.  Maybe Tuesday I'll put a couple cups in a carrier and take her with me to the barn to meet everyone.

Looking up

     Well things have certainly gotten better the past week.  I got my job bid out of the dough room, I'll be the first one to get moved.  While it's not away from Nestle, it's out of the dough room and the fugly hours.  Still 12 hours, but it's 12pm to 12:30am.  Much better than 3pm to 3:30 am.  I'm still pushing and searching for a better job.  I'll keep looking until I get my dream job- something in the Vet field.  

     The four days of work actually weren't too bad this time, probably because I *know* I'm out of there, but I was more than glad to hit my long weekend.  I haven't seen Heidi in over a week.  First day, I've learned my lesson, give it as a down day, just pulled her in and gave her a deep thoroughly grooming.  I noticed a LOT more of her minor crazy things are back to normal.  So there was something with her diet while she was home that I was screwing up.  I need to take an Equine Nutrition course sometime in the future so I know more so of what I'm doing. 

     Heidi's shedding like a beast now.  It's about time she started shedding.  I'm going to wash her purple sheet tomorrow, then after I get that hung on the gate to dry, I'm heading up to go for a ride.  Sunday I should have my extra saddle sold.  As much as I wanted to hang onto it for future use, I've had a short few paychecks and someone finally inquired about the saddle.  I was going to hang onto it since it's not hurting anything sitting in the barn but the money is needed at this point.  My paycheck was half sized this week and I'm behind a little in my bills so the saddle has to GO!  I'm still going to keep the bridle I have though, even if that one is too small for Heidi.  I've got to clean Heidi's come to think of it!  Whoops!  It's still in the truck along side the other Wintec saddle.  I do know a little bit of the money from the saddle, after paying March board, and a couple of my bills, I do intend to get her a bigger brow band.  

     The bunnies, happily have been getting fewer.  I did re-breed my Chin doe for another Chin litter, but this will be the last litter for the doe as she's not the best, her ring pattern lacks.  I've just got a lot mentally going on here and I'm waiting to see what happens as it rolls on.  

     Tomorrow is a riding day for Miss Heidi, then two days home with Bailey and the bunnies, then one more day up with Heidi before going back to Nestle.  Right now, some sleep is NEEDED!  

Courage

     I had the guts today, after getting up 'late' because of daylight savings, to clean out the rabbit side of the barn.  I was glad to do it, it seriously needed it.  I took several cages out of the barn, because I don't want the temptation to put rabbits in them.  The barn looks kind of empty now!  But that's okay.  Let it look empty, then I have the room to build my new cages and get rid of the old cages.  Keep with a conscious this time!  

     I did a count today, 24 adults, 5 babies.  I have the one empty cage for Penelope still, though it's unsure if she'll come down or not.  I don't even know what I'm going to do.  Even with all the time I spent working on the barn today- I still didn't get it all done!  I still have yet to strip the run in.  SO much to do, so little time!  I might head to bed early tonight to see what I can get stripped and cleaned tomorrow.  I just need to do something.  Anything at this point is better than nothing.   
     I did pull Raven out and look at her again too and found out Raven pulled a tooth.  It had grown crazy long so I cut her bottom teeth all the way back to her gums.  Hopefully this time it can grow out normally.  I'll check her again in a week and see how her teeth look!
     But the best part of today was the fact that Bailey looks AWESOME.  9 weeks into her rehab and she's done a complete 360.  She's just a darling little pony, I think she's as big as Jazz or almost!  She's got good substance to her legs, now that I got closer look at her.  She's a good stout little girl.  

     I didn't have enough time to go visit Heidi today, sadly.  I just lost too much time cleaning rabbit cages.  But I can say that I DID post an ad up on Craigslist to try and find a closer boarding barn.  An hour drive each way is NOT working out at all.  I know the days are getting longer but the drive back and forth is murder.  I love Tamarack and if I could win the lotto I would buy a mini farm closer to Tamarack and move closer to Heidi.  
     I still can't believe that even with all the places I've put my resume into I haven't gotten a single phone call.  I'm just to a point that I can't keep track of everything.   It does make me want to give up.  At least I am eventually going to be out of the Dough room, I got my sauce room job bid.  Hopefully I won't last too much longer in the dough room.  I can't handle the 12 hour shifts.  I try to stay up on Sunday nights so I can make the 4 am Monday night/Tuesday morning of work.  4 Straight days this week and 5 days off.  I can't wait.  I'll do what I can every morning to keep pushing and getting the barn clean 

Short ramble

      I know I need the hours, I'm starting to fall behind on my bills, plus board for March is DUE now and I don't have it.  I have 12 hours for Tuesday, and I got 6 tonight, and that's been all, all week.  We got done REALLY early tonight and I'll be in training tomorrow in the Sauce room.  I got my sauce room job bid.  Out of all the people that bid on the job, I had the highest seniority PLUS I was the only one with zero attendance occurrences.  I start some cross training tomorrow!  
     I had a wonderful chat with Rachel the other night.  It was awesome.  I haven't talked to her in a while, Kylie neither though.  What the bunch of us are doing(Cin, Rae and myself) by cutting back our rabbit herds it just setting ourselves up to get out of them.  I've cleared quite a few of my cages out and it's quite nice, a very nice feeling at least.  I'll be keeping my show winners and a few juniors.  I'll continue to show a small number of rabbits.  Tomorrow will be interesting to start shifting rabbits around so I can take stock of what I have and what's left!  
     Still no nibbles on Bailey.  I didn't think I'd have any, I think she's destined to stay with me.  As much as I don't really care for gaited horses, she's a blind black pony to me.  

Lovely end to a week off

     I had a WONDERFUL day other than Jess being with me.  I could have easily have spent the whole afternoon up with my princess but Jess was with me, she was getting hungry and like me, she had to pee.  I knew I had a few stops to make on the way home as well but I *HAD* to try out the new saddle pad and go for a ride before going back to work.  I'm hoping to get back over on Sunday but it's not a guarantee for me.  I do have rabbit cages to clean and get these rabbits all organized and set back up the way I want them.

     At that point I was letting her get done easy and I asked Jess if she wanted to sit on her.  She got up there, it was hard for her to do since Heidi's so tall, Jess is far farther out of shape than I am and Heidi was ready to go!

     Then I swung by Aunt Lisa's real quick to see if maybe by chance she had gotten home so I could go chat with her for a little bit(even though Jess was with me).  Not seeing both white pickups at the top of the hill I knew she wasn't home, but I took the truck up just in case I was missing the other white truck.  My truck made it, it wasn't happy but it did make it.
     I stopped by CVS for the prescription of antibiotics that I got for the root canal, then we swung by Tractor Supply and looked at dog foods for Ayden.  Made the desire for my own dog even stronger.  Anyway, got home in time to yell to Bailey and get her fed.

Time to think

     I've done almost everything I can to find another job to make keeping Bailey possible.  I've resorted to listing her on CL for adoption.  As much as I'd rather not list her on there but I'd rather she have a human to call her own.  She needs to have a home and a child to love her as much as I love Heidi.  My pasture needs the work before the bottle calves get put on it.  I still haven't gotten her vetted but I just plain and simple do not have the money.  I don't have the money to continue with her at all.  Not if I plan on doing barn improvements this year.  I have to get my pasture done and ready to bring Heidi home for the summer if I can't put her on full board to be in during the worst of the summer heat.  Heidi's my #1 and she needs to be taken care of.  There's no way I'll ever have a second chance for a horse like her.  She doesn't get half the stuff she needs to get now.  Eventually I also want to get a dog and show her in agility or obedience.  
     I think I can work my way into a dog show ring a whole lot easier than I can work myself into a horse show ring.  It will certainly be less expensive to show a dog than it would be to show a horse!  The show cloths, show quality saddle, plus trailering to a show, the trainer(s) to get ready for a show.  The dog showing, I've got guidance going into that ring with Aunt Lisa, plus the dog would be less expensive to start with of coarse I still have the initial lay out to get the puppy, food, vet visit and it's crate.  Then comes the time to actually devote to her training.  Eventually I'd like to have her well enough trained to take her on trail rides with me.  
     I've started working on cutting down my rabbits, most of what I'm keeping is steels and blues with another minor in torts and Chins.  The torts if I could force myself to cut them down even farther I would.  Right now I'm aiming to keep Shelly or a Shelly x Jayger baby, Della and a buck.  The farthest I have gotten myself to now is 15 rabbits.  I think after this year I'm going to give up showing rabbits in general.  Raise a few litters each year for meat. This choice comes after much thought and deliberation because it's just not working out with my work schedule.  I've been trying to change it, but for the life of me I cannot get another job.   Della might also go too and I'll leave open a spot for a Sassy baby, to keep a Syd bloodlined baby in the barn.  My two biggest colors will be steel and blue.  Chins still have to build in slowly, I might only keep them at a trio, and the torts might even work down to a pair in the end.  
     I've spent a lot of time thinking lately about the rabbits.  Going through, over and over again seeing where I can and will cut my herd back.  I have to fix the outside meat cages so I can start putting them to use as well.  Two more does going out on Friday at work.  Thankfully.  Two more empty cages.  The more empty's I can make the better off I am.  It's late so it's shower time and then bed time.  I'll be going up to see Heidi tomorrow and go for a ride, I haven't ridden in almost a week- haven't seen her in almost a week.  The weather hasn't been good at all.  

Life rules

     Today was root canal day.  By dang it he numbed me up good!  I didn't feel a damn thing!   It was 9:30 before I finally started to feel any pain, which of coarse is too late to fill any of the pain scripts he gave me.  Some of them I won't touch anyway(Norco) but the Motrin is plenty strong enough at 800 mg.  I'll survive.  I've certainly done worse pain wise.  6 More weeks, then I do the crown on top of this root canal, and I'll get the cavity in the molar behind this tooth while I'm numbed up for the crown.  Then I plan to wait 4 weeks or so to do the last 4 cavities in the front.  From there just keep up with them.  That gets me health wise back where I need to be.  I've still got bills from the biopsy that need to be paid, and then get the crown and fillings all paid for, but it's all well needed and upkeep is better than catch up from here!  
     I've gone ahead and sent the email to Rachel about swapping or buying back Penelope but she hasn't responded.  I don't know what email shes uses other than the redthunder email.  I did, however go back through my tort does. I intend to only keep a trio, and I put all three of my does, Della, Shelly(Della's daughter) and Faith up on the table and judged through them as if I was looking at all three as babies and chosing which two I was going to keep.  Faith got the boot.  She's the last of my Syd bloodlines but she's got the worst body type.  So for now I'll be listing Faith instead of Della or Shelly up for sale.  I do not expect her to sell at all, and she'll probably kindle out with me, her litter to Corbin and if anything is decent I might keep it, but it'll have to be phenomenal to beat out what I've already got.  
     I've got Bailey listed, it's almost time to list her on CL for adoption.  Much as I do love the little blob I just don't see her in my future.  I just want to keep some rabbits and Heidi.  Eventually I'll get a second horse but it'll be long ways down the road so I don't have to worry about it just yet.  Second horse will be a dark dapple gray.  Or at least I'm hoping.  She still bugs me whenever there is a human outside, she's hollering for grain, which I'll be cutting her to a once a day over my 5 day weekend, next weekend.  Also I never know where her feed pans are, she picks them up and walks around the pasture with them.  At least she stopped throwing them at me, but she about walks on my heels in the mornings when I'm bringing the bucket of feed out to her pan.  She steps on me, I'll have to back her off good and then I'll have to work in training sessions for her.  
     On day I'd like to be married, have a mini farm with about 15 acres, two fenced pastures a 4 stall horse barn(only 2 horses though. 1 stall for each, a stall for my rabbits and an extra stall just in case) with loft to keep hay.  A nice fenced yard for kids and my eventual dog.  Of coarse finding said man will be the hardest part.  I still dream, heavily, about my future and what I see there.   I'll continue to dream and keep my heart happy and brain sharp.  I can do it. I will do it. 
     I'm off and sleeping shortly because I have to get up early to meet up with another bunny buyer!  I'm still working on my herd cut down!