O do most definitely do what I need to do and speak my own thoughts. This picture, I pulled off of Facebook mostly because it's so fitting for me. I do at times get stomped on but I fight back with a vengeance.
Anyway, rambles on for thoughts today. Last Saturday I told Phillip to take me off of the 'M' crew lead. I don't want the job, never did in the first place and that Eric Flickinger wanted the job(which of coarse Phillip hates that idea with a passion as does the supervisor's and the other line lead Della), let him have it- Same with Line 8, Eric wants to be trained back there put him with Russel and train him back there! I certainly don't want Line 8.
I physically can do the job of the Line Lead, I have the basic knowledge to get it done quickly and effectively but I get screwed over every time. Oh well, run this line so I can talk to so-n-so, not an issue, I know enough about the other lines to keep them running but I'm not trained anywhere. Sure it's a pay grade up, but the extra buck and change an hour is not worth the stress and stupidity that it thrusts upon me. So no, I don't want the job. I have enough on my plate without having to do 3 or 4 people's jobs at night. Problem solve? Nope that doesn't work well for me either. I can solve the problems but it never comes out with a happy solution for people and I like going with the attitude of 'do this or you know where the door is' and let 'em leave!
Last Friday was a perfect example of this. Two people called off (Russel and Justin) and Jeff got pulled into the sauce room because they were short. Phillip had set me up to do Lead and Farinographs for line 8. Well no Justin meant no prebatcher on Line 5, No Russel or Jeff meant 4 lines of golden flakes and no one doing them. I TOLD Shana 3 or 4 times I needed Jeff back, I had no one on flakes. She kept telling me nope, they need him, they're running BBQ(which takes a crap load of sugar in the sauce). So I finally said 'fuck it' and kept prebatching on line 5. Meanwhile 4 lines are going to shut down shortly because they were out of golden flakes, the prebatchers on all the lines had to take care of their own trash, because they were short trash people(when only 1 trash person is on, Dough room has to do their own), and no farinographs were getting done on line 8. Lead paper work? Also not getting done. I about blew up on Shana for that mess. She *still* hasn't come near me since then. Could be a good thing. I'd give her a piece of my stress ridden mind.
I told Phillip on Saturday Never again will I do lead. It's funny, when I or even James has done it before too, we have to do multiple jobs, but when Phillip or Justin(he had to do it yesterday because I wouldn't) and Della too, do Lead that's there only job. Nope, I will not get fucked over like that. We are all equal as leads. Just because I don't kiss her ass and bend over backwards doesn't mean you screw me over. I've got enough issues going. I'm completely freaking out about moving Heidi to Tamarack, plus my blood pressure is *still* way too high (141 over 95 today) and I have a doctor's appointment Monday for a full physical. I haven't had a full physical in years. I'm sure there's things that I'm lacking myself, shots and the like.
Now I need to see about getting my coats from Mary (lord I miss seeing and working with her) for winter riding and I need to relax! I think I might just sell a few of my rabbits and only pick up the single blue Dutch buck. I'm letting the chocolates go, the buck will stay long enough to get full size and butcher. If he gets the two chocolate carriers bred, he gets them bred. If not oh well to bad so sad. Chocolates are going to wait until spring to get looked at again anyway.
To any extent- time to get ready for work, the winds picking up so the storms are rolling in for tonight.