Not giving up

     I have started riding a lot more again and Kylie gave me some pointers while we were riding yesterday, and even if I ride alone I can work on it better.  Heidi's been going with really good with the spurs though I think dropping back to the 3xw gullet bar will do better, she seemed a lot more uncomfortable with the saddle yesterday with the 2xw gullet bar than she did the other day with the 3xw.  So I think for now I might just go back to the 3xw and keep working and see what happens.  I am getting more and more comfortable.  Soon I will probably have to move back to lunge line work and start teaching Heidi to canter undersaddle.  I can't wait to be able to canter under saddle again.  I think once she starts to canter under saddle we'll be able to improve.  I know I've been thinking and saying the same thing for the past 2 years that I was going to get Heidi solid but I think now I really can.  I may have lost a lot of my confidence and as I have noticed more and more a lot of my drive.  Even though I know I had Shana helping me, I don't know.  It's not the same as having Kylie there.  Maybe because Kylie was really the one that got me started on horses. 
     Willow had to skip the last dog show and it really bummed me.  Partly because I didn't want Lisa to go alone.  Going alone kind of sucks.  But Willow had Kennel Cough and while she's basically over it now I couldn't risk spreading it to so many other dogs.  Perry was telling me last night that it was basically my fault, I shouldn't bring her with me to work so much that's just lining her up to get sick.  But I do know she's been vaccinated and it was a strain not covered by the vaccine.  It's really no one's fault but the shelter's.  The shelter dogs were what brought it into the clinic.  I kind of want to leave her home tomorrow to make a point but it won't make any kind of point what-so ever.  It'll make her upset, that I know for sure.  She literally has been glued to me for a long time.  She was ready for the show but was sick.  So I went ahead and entered Bluegrass instead.  I know I am super nervous about Bluegrass as I know it's a HUGE show but I'm hoping that by entering on Sunday we'll be okay.  We will have to be okay. She's got this week off and then two weeks of grind to get herself prepped for that show.  It was Tuesday evening before she finally started to play again. She's back to playing again and running.  I've missed dearly watching her run around or after her ball.  
     I have done it, I went and got a few more rabbits.  I'm actually really happy to have them again.  I've bred one of my does right away.  I'm heavy on Chin's now but I'm okay with that. I love the chin color and blues, so I got a blue pair and what steel does I have are blue carriers so I am hopeful for some blues down the road.  I'm really excited to be able to get back into them.  They were part of what I was missing.  
     Now I just need to find me a man that can handle me in general.  Also need to find a better paying job so that I can afford to sustain myself.   The horse, the dog and the rabbits!  Loving my life right now and going to at least enjoy enjoy what there is to offer.