Looking out

     Parts of me are very relieved at some present circumstances.  As much as I do love Amber I am actually quite relieved that Kylie is going to give her another shot.  I do not ride enough, this heat has proven it quite well.  Plus Amber and Kylie, to me have always been a very good pair.  I can't wait to see what the two of them can do now.  She's going to bring in a trainer to do a lesson with every other week at Tamarack.  I hope the two of them excel.  I love her body style, I love the way she moves, she's comfy but I really can't afford two horses.  I know even making the move to live with her will help with costs but I need a new job very badly.  I have to keep looking and keep trying.  Eventually I will get there.
     Eventually I will find me a man too.  Kari seems to think, at least she joked today, that he could literally walk through the back door anytime and meet and hit it off. I'd like to think that sometimes things like that could actually happen but I highly doubt it.  I'm really not the attactive type.  These guys want thin pretty bimbo kinda gals.  I'm the direct opposite. I'm a smart ass, heavyset, more thinking, tomboy kinda gal.  I do try to keep it positive but let's face it.  I'm out with public daily and they frown upon girls like me.  I bottle up a ton of my emotions and I'm not as easily out going as most girls my age.  Add the lack of motivation to stay completely current.  I have an old smartphone and I haven't watched much real TV.  I don't know a lot of new tv shows, stars, singers, etc.
     I am wondering at time what is wrong with me?  Personally I know that I am super picky on guys.  I figure I have my horse, my dog and I'm still sticking with a few rabbits.  I think so anyway.  I need to get off soured thoughts and get to bed.  It's late and I do have to work tomorrow.  I have so many things to do after work as well.  I do need to stop and get a good hug from Heidi.