Ruts

     I have been eternally stuck in one spot and it's just not moving very much.  I have been fighting and trying to get my life together.  I eventually want to get off and living my own life.  I just need to get a career not just a job.  The job hunt has been slow and steady.  No calls for interviews yet but hopefully I can look at a pay increase as a year comes up at the clinic.  I will continue to look for better jobs.  I am only hopeful that I can find a good job, a good faithful man and be able to keep all my babies happy and comfortable!
     Willow has done so well.  I have done some light work with her this week, just to let her have a little down time to be a dog again.  It'll be back to the grind starting next week since then we'll be at 4 weeks to the next show.  I have a couple of weeks still before we have to enter and we're going to work on the obedience side of things since I can't talk to her in there.  First step will be heeling and sitting upon stopping.  Sitting straight as well.  Everything is going to go hard core with her.  I know she's young and she's still heavily learning and Lisa said she thinks Willow will be awesome when she's older.  She's awesome to me now, just a diamond in the ruff.  Part of me is so driven to get a second dog and start this again and do it some more.  I already know my career with rabbits is over.  I hardly ever pay attention to them.  Usually my rabbits are lucky to see me every other day.  My brain keeps telling me to sell the last of them and get it over with.  My heart says to hang onto the last of them and wait it out.
     I keep telling myself to wait it out, wait it out.  My life is going by me while I 'wait it out' and I'm starting to wonder what other steps can I take to move forward with my life.  I might finally have my doTERRA taking off at least  a little bit.  The clinic girls (and Mickey) are all interested so I've got some photocopies of everything paperwork wise so see if they would be willing to just order them online through my website and it will be so nice to have them take off a little bit, at least pay for themselves as we go.
     Last touch subject is the horses.  I know I LOVE Amber and Heidi both very much.  I know I really technically can't afford to have horses in my life.  I also know Kylie's looking for another horse when Amber really is the horse she needs.  Unless she's truly given up on the mare, Amber can do everything that she wants to do.  I know she's not Phoenix nor Liberti of which she misses.  I miss them too.  Especially Phoenix.  I had always left the invitation open if she ever wanted Phoenix back but she never did.  Bahloo was a good stand in for her to ride.  She was happy and comfortable on her.  I was comfortable on her size wise and width wise but me and her just didn't click like I do with Amber and Heidi.  I am still really hoping that Cathryn does ship Bahloo back up for a while.  Lisa can ride one mare, Kylie on another and me on Heidi and we can do a large trail ride, or even Doug on Amber for the trail ride.  I am starting to think I may not push myself to try and show Amber, I really don't think I could afford to show her even if I got that far.  Amber may be better off with someone else that would show her.  
     Who knows.  All I do know is this is what has been on my mind lately and if it wasn't for my vetiver oil I'd never get to sleep at night.  Still I don't want to be stuck in this rut I am stuck in right now.