Time

Everything has been tossed into a blender lately and this past weekend was what tossed it to the blender.  

Marty asked me for some bunnies so I bred a few does, but we shall see what comes of it.  I've kind of started thinking about keeping them slim and seeing what happens from there.  I kind of don't want them to weigh me down and I kind of wanted to start getting rid of them.  I have a few things on my mind and I will see where it goes before I totally can the rabbits completely.   

It was the first time in a bit over a month that I actually talked to Rachel.  She even started the conversation.  It didn't last long as per usual she ditched me for someone else but she started it and carried it for a little while.   I still felt like she didn't tell me the whole truth as to what was going on.  I told her what was going on here.  I don't know what to do about her right now.   Partially don't trust her anymore.  Michelle went down and visited the old farm and makes me miss it more and more.  I've been going through all my old pictures of the farm.  

At least Eeyore and Dakota are still there.  I figured Spudley, Camile and Beauty had all passed on by now.  Last time I was up there 4 years ago it felt like Gena hadn't wanted to see me so I've refrained from really wanting to go visit again.  Michelle told me that my leaving was very hard on her.  I hope she understands how hard everything was on me to pick up and move 1600 miles away and start over.  I saw it as a new opportunity to start over.  In so many ways I am glad to have done it.  I've really gotten to know the other side of my family(my dad's family) and I've really enjoyed knowing them.  Had I not moved down here, I wouldn't have my three girls, Heidi, Tess and Willow.  I am enjoying my job for the basic part, which I couldn't do up there.  Only down part has been all the medical issues that I have had which are common for people down here.  I do still wonder what life would have been like with different choices in the past. 

It made me sorely miss Jasmine and Phoenix, as they are VERY similar to Heidi and Tess.  Just they way they act and behave is so very similar.  I would LOVE to be able to afford to get a third horse but as of right now I need to make other steps in life before I can do that.  I must content myself with what I have for years to come.  

I am so happy with how things are going.  I've been feeling okay.  Last night was a night I woke up in the middle of the night in a hot flash kind of feeling, about 15 minutes later I was cooled off enough for my sheet and back to sleep I went.  I haven't been on the scale in a few days but this week I have started having a Slim*Fast every morning for breakfast and I'll see how that goes.  Starting Wednesday I am going to go back to walking through part of lunch.  Even if Debbie doesn't.   I have to, I need to.  My weight has sat the same since my doctors appointment, actually it went up and has come back down to basically the same.  It's time to kick this crap to the curb and stay that way!  I am so tired of reading these Hasimoto's books and I'm just trying to live life and enjoy it and also get (and Keep) my Hasimoto's in check.  It's autoimmune so it's there for life now but I'm ready to take my life back.