Saturday, March 18, 2017


Everything has been back to upside down, backwards and inside out.  It's been awful few days for me and today got the worst I hope.  I don't know what is going on totally but I'm trying to research and find things out.  I've found my Zendocrine softgels and I plan on starting them tomorrow to run the test.  If I forgot to start them around lunch then I'll have to wait until next weekend.  I don't want to start them during the week just in case it sets my digestive track off.  I can't have my digest track get all out of whack while I am out on a farm call or something.
This sinus pressure is still unrelenting.  It's been a couple months that it's been there and research has shown me that the sinus problems are also an issue with the Hypothyroidism.  Part of it can be diet, fatty liver and so many other things.  It's insane the amount of research I have done on this.  I just can't believe it at times.  Something I researched and learned today was I may not have just Hypo, it might be Hasimoto's.  My hypo is behaving more along the lines of Hasimoto's- which is an autoimmune thyroid disease.  It can be spurred by the H.Pylori bacterial stomach infection.  Which I had a little over a year ahead of being diagnosed with Hypothyroidism.  I know I had been having issues with the hypo long before it was diagnosed.  Normally hypothyrodism runs in the family which also makes me wonder if it's Hasimoto's.  But both are treated the same way.  I just don't think my medication is quite right.  It's quite daunting how so many things that I've been having issues with all tie back into the Hypo.  I just, my mind is so blown right now.  I have so much information logged in a notebook every time I learn something new- I get it jotted down and I have finally started to write down the source.
Adding to the mental burn out is work.  Going out on the farm calls helps to clear my head as I get to enjoy some of the prettiest countryside of Clark County and get away from all the clique' girls at the clinic but it's not often enough.  I am not fit enough nor strong enough.  Out of what they need me to be able to do I have a hard time doing it but I am the best thing they have to do it with.  I'm still afraid of someone getting hurt because of me and because I lack a lot of knowledge.  They know I am not afraid to try something nor afraid to get dirty.  I will do whatever I have to do to get the job done.  It's just hard when I get back to the clinic and everyone else slacks off because they know I'll turn around and do it all just to get it done.  I'm getting burned out on it.  Part of me hates going on the farm calls because it's hell to catch up when I get back, the other part just hates the co-workers.  Then the other part is now 3 days a week I am solo in the mornings.  Monday's I don't care about- there's not much there anyway but Wednesday and Thursdays are rough.  I'm there at 6:30 am and it's just crazy trying to get everything done on time.  They need to do the floors at 5pm when the close so it's easier on me to have Brittany back again.  Not that she shows up on time.  It's normally 5-10 minutes late for her daily.  I go in, I start the coffee pot, depending the temperament of any animals in the surgery room I do them or skip them.  Then start the kennel.  It's been a rough few weeks and honestly I don't know if it'll get any better or worse when Mikey comes back after the semester.  I know I'll lose the farm calls at that point but I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm just watching and waiting.  Looking for a different job still but not sure what'll happen.
To get off the sad subjects, the horses are doing good.  Had i been feeling better this morning and today in general I might have grabbed one for a ride.  So instead I'll have to grab one for a ride tomorrow instead. Tomorrow's supposed to be nicer than today anyway.  I'll just be after morning clinic, church and meeting with Kayelynn for a bunny.  I hope I can start getting Tessa worked some more too.  I have to start with her after work too.  I'm going to just plum start her back at ground work again.  Both need the ground work. I want to get them to the point that Jazzy, Lindy and Phoenix were at.  Heidi's at the same point as Lindy- but part of me wants the bond that I have with her to be like the bond I need to form with Tessa.  I am fearful that she will not work for me and that she will turn into a man's horse again.  She remembered Michael when he came, she just stuck her nose right into him and breathed deep.  Michael was the first human she ever got to smell.  First thing other than her momma I am guessing.  Part of me wants to go breed her to that Grulla paint stallion  or   and then raise that foal for myself.  Michael thinks Heidi crossed to Tessa's dad would throw a nice baby as well.  I'd still rather cross Tessa to a paint to keep it register-able.  Though Heidi to TBone wouldn't be a bad baby either!
Beau's Tacky TBone:
Easy to see where Tessa got her good looks from!  Michael said he's still looking good, he had trimmed him a few weeks prior to coming out to do my girls.  Sadly I just don't have the space nor the money to be able to think about breeding either girl.  It will be a pipe dream.  I'll work on getting them working well and get myself a western saddle.  First things first- get people paid up- Dad, Allen and Mikey.  Then I can get a saddle and so on!  

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