Friday, March 9, 2018

Moving forward.

So I am going to attempt to revamp this blog at least.  It'll be basic life.  Sometimes just mental ramblings.  Anyone that reads can comment, it doesn't bug me but realize I do read but may not reply to any or all comments. 
I have started to veer away from Facebook.  I browse it very quickly a couple times a day and share, like or comment on a few things but that is all.  I don't particularly care to stay on there much.  Most nights I just leave Facebook open if someone wants to chat with me.  I don't go looking for conversations because so many people disappear and can't or won't hold a conversation with me.  So I don't start conversations with anyone anymore.  For the most part there's nothing I have much in common with people and I have so many personal things going on that it's hard to even want to  try and keep myself and my family up to date so I'm not keeping other people up to date- and it's hard to even talk to them when they don't stick around for a conversation anyway! 

Anyhow.  Get off my little rant.  I'll first stick to Willow.  We've been working some since mid February on our off leash heeling and I'm looking at picking up a working set of the Rally signs since that's where I want to head back into is Rally.  I know she'll be 4 here in 2 months and my original plan had been to have all her titles by now.  But Somewhere I got totally of coarse.  I'm not sure if it was where we moved back to my parents and I was bitter and angry for a long time, then I became the only human out of 4 in the house that was working.  Dad was laid off for the winter, Jess didn't have a job and mom never has. I've been back here, this coming August will be 2 years, but I will have 2 of my debts paid off and I've been casually looking at houses for myself.  After putting Ayden to sleep back in January I have had so much well had I done this, this wouldn't have happened and he'd still be alive today.  I know it's not fair to his memory nor to me to do that but I can't help it.  I haven't been able to bring myself to just tell myself straight that it wouldn't have mattered.  Cancer is just an evil thing that does what it wants to do.  Cancer took my second fur-dog child away from me.  I'm also looking at picking up my own soft pop up crate to keep in my car for weekends at Drachefeld, the German Shepherd kennel so I can put her in that while I am working.  I do love the dogs there, most of them are super friendly, and just looking out after I am done with them, at all the Morgans in the fields and watching the babies outside playing on the farm is fantastic.  Drachefeld is owned by Dragonsmeade farm.  Some day I would love to tour the barn and be allowed to roam the fields to take pictures of them.  But that needs to wait until the temps are better outside! 

The horses, well they are there.  I haven't done much with them, I rode Tessa back in January but not Heidi since November or December.  I have figured out that I have to give up on the english saddle.  45 minutes in that Western saddle and I wasn't sore in anyway shape or form.  30 minutes in the english saddle and my foot was throbbing for days.  Something about the english stirrup irons are not friendly and not comfortable for my foot.  I will have to try that Western on Heidi one of these days.  I have so much to do with them, but part of me is waiting to find out what I'm going to do.  I only have 4 round bales left which is going to be roughly 40 days from tomorrow, so beginning of April to mid month.  I need to decide if I am going to *try* to put the girls over at Lisa's for a little while if she will allow me to.  Doing that I don't see them as much as I do now and I fear Heidi being a bitch to Ellie or to the cows, or both.  Tessa I know for sure will be fine.  She's been such a good little mare.  Heidi I used to trust around other horses until we boarded at Lucky Charm.  I don't know what it is.  I know she likes being messed with more often now so I start to wonder what they did to her out there.  There's so many variables still left with the horses, I need to really put some planning into them- but that's time to put into them as well as put into everything else that needs my attention.  I have at least one more month before I really have to have a plan in order. 

The rabbits.  Gosh I really don't know what I am doing with them.  I am loving all my guys, but I had that one litter that has been practically destroyed by a rat infestation and it was my showable babies- of coarse!  Thankfully the lady that wanted the chocolate buck, wanted him for breeding anyway, and he's missing a toe, but the blue doe that I had wanted to keep for showing is also missing a toe so it's not showable either!  The lilac doe I'm not sure it's going to live to grow up, it messed up it's hock, along with the black buck.  The black buck I think is doing better than the lilac doe.  If the lilac doe heals up will depend on what I do with her.  If she heals up nicely I will try to show her and sell her, if not I might breed her or I might cull her out.  I don't know.  I love the spots, and I love my dutch but I don't want to get too many again. I would love to have blue and torts of both breeds but right now I have lilac spots with my blue and tort dutch with the blue.  I guess this first show coming up will show me what I need to know about my herd and I will see what I plan on doing going forward.  I do intend to only raise what brings me joy.  While some of my lops did bring me joy at the time my heart has been stuck with these striped, running breeds.  Dutch have always been a love of mine.  I just don't know anymore.

As for my health.  I switched around when I took my High Blood Pressure pill from before bed to at lunch time and other than I do struggle more with dehydration.  I might have to go back to drinking more powerade again.  But I am okay with that.  I am down 7 pounds this year so far.  It's been a year since my weight was this low.  And that's the only thing I have changed.  So I am hoping with my walking (and working Willow) son I hope the weather agrees to allow me to start biking and riding again and this weight will come off.  I am totally ready for it. 

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