Not quitting yet.

So this past week has been I think the worst Rollercoaster ride that I've had in such a long time. Between Grandma back on the 7th at the hospital and then the stressful roller coaster ride after that it's been awful.  Cousin Becky has been down the whole past week and I finally got to see her today and it's been just awesome knowing she has gotten grandma to perk back up and be more responsive.  She wasn't today though.  So I don't know what to think is happening there.  She seemed to shudder in pain or something while we were there.  Spent the whole hour quietly or talking to dad.  It's getting harder to sit there with her.  I just know that someday she will be gone and that's what keeps me going.  
Doctors visit Thursday afternoon was not the nicest for sure.  This time I red flagged high for depression.  He asked me if I wanted to take something for it, and I declined.  I know most of it is stress.  I think once I de-stress a lot of the depression will go away.  I know at least now that I am starting to relax it will get better.  We did re-do the thyroid panel and it's getting better but it's still showing high hypo.  At least my TSH has come back into the high end of the normal range, it's not over the top, and my FT4 is still below normal range but it's coming up.  My FT3 is coming up as well but still at the low end of the normal range.  So I started, on my own, that I upped my medication and when I weigh in on Monday I will see.  He also did a lipids panel this time and all those numbers are off; flagged either high or low.  I just need to get control here and now to start figuring out how to do that and keep de-stressing as I am going.   
I know this is a medical post really, but honestly I actually did go out today after visiting grandma and just brushed my two big girls out and treated their feet and I honestly felt so much better.  I would love to still get them and myself into a better position so that I can actually do more and have more fun but even just taking care of them makes me happy.  It felt good to actually get a good brush through them.  I haven't been able to even get a good grooming over them in a long time.  I can't wait for spring so it's brighter when I get home again and I can start to do more.  Winter over all is a bit depressing.  
Dad and Becky had a point, and I know my aunts have all brought it up to me on numerous occasions but, I need to go back to school and get my certificate for Vet Tech.  If I thought I could honestly afford it I would.  I just don't want to mess up what I have.  I like working with the vets I work with.  Honestly they are some of the best folks.  Sure they annoy me at times but what job doesn't have it's annoying times.  I really do like where I am.  I also at this point cannot afford to go back to college.  I have 8 months left to pay on my student loans as it is so it's coming- slowly.  I have so many plans for this coming year that I honestly don't know if I have the TIME to do all of it.  Soon I will work on next years goals.  Soon.  Just need, and want to have a nice weekend before I go back into the get ready for the work week syndrome!