Trudge onwards

     I am forcing myself to keep trudging on.  Sometimes things seem to hit a brick wall.  Having my love from Amber, Heidi and Willow is plenty to lift my spirits but doesn't ever allow me to do what I want.  I want to be able to afford both my equine girls and my canine baby.  I hate the idea of doing MORE job interviews, why can't I just find a single job that pays good enough to keep my girls and get an apartment.  I know horses are a VERY expensive habit, but I could never lose Heidi, and Amber I'm not even paying her board yet, just farrier, shots and deworming.  Willow I wouldn't lose unless something medically went bad with her and she was lost that way.  I hate to think of it but I would beg for help if I need to, I don't much care to do it but I couldn't lose all three.  In fact even the thought of losing Amber is bad enough, I'd just fall to pieces if I lost Heidi or Willow.  Much to young to lose any.  Amber's almost 11 years old, Heidi's 8 years old and Willow's just under a year.  I have many more years to go with them all. 
     Onto a bit better a subject.  I have made the choice to sell out of my rabbits.  I'll be keeping 6.  Natalie, Connie, Raven, Little Boy Blue and a Chin- okay that's five.  But that's it.  The Chin will either be Juliet or her baby.  I have no intentions of breeding more chins again unless I get more stable and can actually do something with them.  I think I might just let them die out of old age though.  LB  is the youngest, other than the chin baby but Natalie and Connie are both over 3 years old, Raven's year and a half already.  I was thinking about the rabbit show at the end of May but there's a dog show the Saturday before it, I'd rather do the dog show quite frankly. 
     I'm still having an impossible time finding a popup crate through Big Lots.  Their's are the cheapest and I really cannot afford $50+ for a popup crate.  My tax return is almost completely gone and It only got a few bills paid down but nothing gone.  At least her training is going a lot better now.  She's settling down.  I'm hoping if I can let her romp each morning before a show at Lisa's while we pack up, she'll be more focused and ready to work.  Sadly no Mega Millons win last night-I've got a ticket for tonight's lotto drawing so I pray to win something, if I can get enough to get myself out of debt I can start improving.  I hate how the world revolves around money.  Why does everything always have to be about money.  
     On a good note though.  Heidi and Amber do not HATE each other but they aren't best buds either. Amber, while the older of the two, is a very dominate mare and Heidi's submissive both hate sharing me with each other.  Amber is still looking for Kylie.  She is willing to work with me but she misses Kylie.  She has settled in very nicely into the mare paddock and has pushed herself to near the top of the pecking order.   Which is nice, at least I know she and Heidi will never get picked on, or Cinder and Hope for that matter.  The odd balls have joined ranks.  I miss my girls, they both gave me kisses today even though I was down and miserable.  Still something wrong medically with me and not the faintest clue what it is.  Everything I have tried with my doTERRA hasn't worked.  I'll keep at it though.  I'm setting up a Doc appointment to talk to her and then a Chiro appointment to check my back.  
     Time for some sleep, short day at work but plenty to do afterwards!