Help myself

     I'd have to say #5 is going to be my hardest in the 12 steps for self care.  I've been keeping positive and I've promised myself to stay positive.  "98% positive"  Cause I know I'll have bad days and I know I'll have bad times to start with.  But so far I've been doing everything that I can deem possible to keep the outlook on the future as good as possible.  I'm still out and about and job hunting.  Have a positive lead for Rood and Riddle.  I'll be doing a cover letter and updating my resume and getting that emailed to them over the coarse of the next couple of days.  If I can start to work for them and make more money I can hopefully move into an apartment a LOT easier.  It'll mean going back to paying for vet on Willow BUT that's far more preferable than staying in a lower end paying job with no foreseeable future to move up in pay scale.
     For today being so damn cold it's been a laid back rest up kind of day for Willow and myself.  Willow's been sleeping most of the day on and off at least.  I've relaxed and rested.  Watched Numb3rs on Ion for a big chunk of the day and now back to watching CSI NY that I have on DVD's.  I still have yet to dig out my good leather coat to wear tomorrow, but I do need something warmer to wear.  Makes me wish I had actually finished out the series but I think I will eventually get the last couple of seasons for both NY and Miami.  Plus Criminal Minds, I have to catch them up as well.  Hopefully soon I can.  I've realized how much I have missed watching them due to lack of having a TV with antenna to be able to watch them.  Now I do know that both CSI's, Miami and NY, have been canceled years ago but Criminal Minds is still going strong.  
     One of my orders have come in.  I got new irons and leathers for my dressage saddle, and the leathers for my Cortina english to ride Mary in.  Despite the cold I pulled the english irons off the aussie and put them on the leathers for the Cortina.  I'll get that saddle back into the barn and the heat tomorrow along with Heidi's 'new' bridle.  Kylie sent me her old one off Amber, she knew I ADORED that bridle.  I love the v-brow band on it.  It's brown so I'll be looking for a brown jumping/AP saddle  in the same tree size for Heidi.  Most likely at Rolex.  At least look.  No guarantee's that I'll have the money to do anything but at least I can then look at saddles again.  Everything will depend on what job I have, what I'm making and everything else.  For me there won't be any value to buying an AP saddle if Heidi won't jump.  I'm perfectly comfortable in the dressage saddle if I just won't go jumping again.  
     Anyway, it's basically time to go to bed anyway, I have to work tomorrow and I really just don't want to.  Small animal practice and all.  My heart lies with equine.