Dreaming

     Still daydreaming about my own place and I have still yet to do anything about it.  I know it's bad that I haven't started working on it, but tomorrow is certainly another day to step forward.  I shall walk next door to the Shell station and get a newspaper and start.  I'll have two more days of no Blake so I will be sketching at work.  Tuesday I'm going to try and take both dogs with me to work.  Ayden needs a recheck on his weight and if we get time I'll have Rex or Patrick take a look at his eye.  It's getting all gunky again. 
     Between all the running around I did today and what Lisa was doing I didn't get the chance to talk to her.  I'm trying to trade some of my extra's for a new bit and a girth for Heidi so we can ride again.  I can't wait to get back up on her back and see how she rides again.  I need to invest in some warmer riding pants though.  it's getting really seriously chilly for me.  I don't handle the cold anywhere near as well as I used to.  I don't know why but I'm just a wimp.  
     I still dream heavily of being able to find a *real* man and get my own little place and farmlet and be able to keep a couple horses(Heidi and if I could wing it- Amber) and just be a peaceful homemaker.  I don't care to work full time but I just want it to be something easy and stress free.  Some place I don't have to worry about bosses and owners not trusting me.  I just want to be able to do things again like I used to, even when I lived in NY.  I made $12 an hour working Monday-Friday and occasional Saturdays at Bard and I was happy, life was good.  I had friends I saw, hung out with and talked to on a more routine basis.  Right now my two closes friends are Lisa and Sandy.  That's where I go when I need to get away, I need to unwind.  Either the barn or Aunt Lisa's.  I don't know what's so different now compared to then.  I'm not as young as I was then.  Had I not chosen to move down here I wouldn't have Heidi and that's a big thing for me, and I wouldn't have that relationship with Dad's side of the family like I do now.  Negative thing is the lacking relationship with Aunt Sheri and Uncle Dennis.  I miss the weeks and weekends with them, letting my mind escape reality even if for a little while.
     Willow's doing good, she stayed home all last week because she got a routine down and had no messes in the house, bad part, she doesn't really respond much to me now.  Whereas at the clinic with me she had me all day.  She's excited when I get home, but I don't know what kinds of bad habits or anything that she's picking up.  It just drives me bonkers that she doesn't respond to me like she use to.  Maybe just some more training work will help or something.  She's not big on car rides so I have to get her over that.