Long update

     My emotions have been on a great roller coaster ride.  I think a lot of it's the sinus infection that I've been fighting, it's been draining me really good, I'm almost always tired.  I will fight through it at least until Friday.  If I can't get it gone by Friday I will go down to the clinic and take care of the problem with some antibiotics.  I've been fighting with it for almost 10 days now.  It started to go down to my chest.  I had a sore throat for a few days but I beat that back now to just get it out of my head.  It'll alleviate the chest pain and the almost constant sweat.  Right now I take an Advil congestion every night before bed.  Once I take that I can lay down and go to sleep within a half an hour.  I hate being dependent on something like that to be able to sleep, but it's either that or sweat to death and not sleep.  Right now I even stopped using the diffuser because I can't smell it anyway.  At least for right now it's back in my head and out of my throat.  I've been scared to stop and visit in case it is something, someone else can catch(ie I thought it was a cold).  But I even went to the rabbit show, felt like shit but I did it, no one else got sick.  
     I overheard dad talking last night, I think it was to just mom that he was waiting to 'get rid' of his kids, he got rid of one by leaving him behind.  I don't even know for sure if he was serious or not.  I know it's been harder on him having both of us here but at least I pay my rent and I do, do things around here and help out.  It shouldn't have made me angry and upset but it did.  I've done everything asked of me help him with this or that I don't know what's going on.  That or the stress of having Jess be a free-loader here is getting to him.  We all know, including mother, it's only a matter of time before the Buick dies.  It's getting worse and worse and I drove it the other day and I was scared to take it to Owingsville!  So long as Jess knows and understands, when that car dies, she'll have to face getting a loan and buying a car, there's no other vehicle here available for her to drive.  She sure as hell isn't driving my truck or dad's truck and I made it quite clear she's not driving grandma's car either.  She'll have to get a loan, get her own car and insurance.  I've taken care of mine for years, about damn time she takes care of her own.  
     Thinking of cars, Allen's truck is still sitting here.  I think I might take it over to the barn on Sunday and have dad pick me up from Lisa's when he brings Grandma back.  I'll have to ask Lisa and Jim make sure it's still alright to put it out by the road over there to sell it.  Craigslist hasn't gotten me anything.  I'll give the stats to DJ today and see if he knows anyone and maybe get it sold.  I've got a guy through CL right now that wants it but wants to pay by PayPal sight unseen.  It leaves me too uneasy.  Who would buy a vehicle sight-unseen that wasn't trying to scam you.  I know Paypal has the buyer protection on it, but what about the sellers?  I don't think I'm going to reply back I just, I don't know.  I'll see closer to Friday if DJ doesn't have anyone I'll stop over on Friday and talk to Aunt and Uncle and see if they're still okay with me bringing the truck over there.  Need to get it sold.  Everyone wants stuff for nothing, I've has some tire kickers but I don't even answer those. 
     Going back to work today for a 4-straight.  Hopefully I'm not training, I really do hope I'm not.  I don't think I could handle it right now.  I still hate the company I work for, Sauce room has been better than the dough room so far.  Maybe it's the cross training I'm finally getting after moving to the Sauce room.  Maybe it's no more Russel or Justin with their super long breaks because they have to do this, that AND the other thing while on break taking 3 to 4 times the length of their break they're supposed to.     Or maybe it's the better crew I am working with in the Sauce room.  I do enjoy working with James, DJ and Ashley.  Bishop and Jeff I can tolerate; the two temps, well they do push my buttons at times but they don't typically bother me.  I hope we all even out soon.  Still not a blasted thing on any resume's I put out.  I'll keep trying as I have to, I HAVE to get away from Nestle.  Put job hunting has turned very depressing.  
     I'm looking at Selling or trading to Perry, Bailey's blanket for some hay for her to hold her the last week and a half.  I'm not sure he has a need for a 68" blanket, little less one that's hot pink but it would make me feel better.  She's supposed to get picked up the 23rd.  Not soon enough but, she's looking really good, she's almost completely shed out now.

     Maybe it has come time to sell out all the rabbits and move on.  I just need to start fighting my way through everything.  See where it all falls and what it all comes to.  It's a 5 day weekend coming up, I Have some barn demolition and reorganizing planned, riding Heidi, working with Tru and Spencer plus some good quality time spent with family(okay- Lisa, Jim and Grandma) and just have fun and relax.  So long as I'm feeling better everything will go.  The weekend will fly by, that I do know.  I intend to send a few more resume's out and just overall make the fight to get the new job.  I've got at least 3 vets offices I intend to apply at, I might look at some in Morehead though that's the wrong direction at this point.  I may even go for some of the bigger offices too.  I'm mentally working on cull lists still, sell some more of the rabbits get 'em gone.  Got at least 1 to Butcher, if not two.  Yep.  Got to Think Positively.