Think I'm ready

     I think I'm ready to move forward.  I just keep telling myself I *NEED* to move forward.  I'm going ahead with bloodwork to see why my blood pressure is so high.  Hopefully it's something that I can easily fix and keep moving forward with- I'm worried about it being cholesterol or a hernia from surgery last December. 
     I'm moving forward with the rabbits, I'm actually considering cutting the Chocolate Dutch since mine are not of any decent quality at all.  If I pick them back up, it'll be spring.  Yes, I think so.  Even after losing Rachel-bun I haven't had a drive to do torts, so even them I've been cutting backwards, I like my blues.  I do have a couple of nice torts, don't get me wrong, I do love a nice tort and a nice steel for that matter, but I just can't push myself forward with them since I've lost Rachel-bun.  I still love my Chinchilla's too.  But I'm sitting on only a pair of those.  Starting in Feb they'll be showable for legs and for Best of Breeds again. 

     I do LOVE my aunts, The 4 that I'm closest to are Cathryn, Lisa, Sheri and Boo. There are times when I know I can count on them for help.  This weekend will be rough, very rough.  With putting Phoenix down over at Aunt Lisa's, moving Heidi to a boarding barn.  I hope Aunt Lisa's ready for me to visit way more often that I do now.  Heidi's over there, she and her girls are there and it'll be effective relief to be with them, and with any hope I won't really notice Phoenix being gone.  mentally I've come to terms with it already anyway. I see him out there right now so skinny, and the shine in his eyes has gone dull over the past few days.  It is time.  More than time to let him rest.  We'll be using their 'other' driveway to let Phoenix go because it costs so much more to do him at home.  Dad will be putting him down- a straight clean shot will be more effective, in my opinion, than having a vet come out and use the drugs. 
     In December I do fully intend to go to Florida, meet Dustin.  Dad showed me a recent picture of him on Freddy's Facebook and his face is just . . . Dreamy.  Maybe it's my brain and ears being deceptively happy maybe not.  I don't know.  I've gotten 3 more job apps out, resume updated and it will be resent to a few other places.  I'm crossing my fingers.  Hopefully I can get out and away from Nestle sooner, rather than later. The sooner the better.