Surrender

     I know, another update without pictures but words instead.  I've got three really close friends(for safety sake, letters of their first names will be used), all three have the link to this blog.  Who reads it or not is another story.  I had M helping me keep my mind last night while talking to K and R.  R attacking K without K knowing it and I was trying to stop it but, well I surrendered.  I got R off the topic but It feels terrible being stuck in the middle of two of your best friends when one hates the other and it's totally a frustrating situation to be placed in. 
     Well K is going to come down and spend spring break down here, unwinding and relaxing and we'll be taking Pheonix and Heidi out for some peaceful relaxing rides.  Good to relax.  R and K were horse buddies, M and R are bunny buddies so K and M haven't crossed paths.  It makes me want to be a hermit and anti-social at times, I get frustrated with humans in general at times too.
     Anyway.  I was an idiot again this morning, I try to put Colby out in the x-pen every other morning while I'm feeding and I open all my cages when I feed, closing the bottom row cages when I get done feeding them.  Well Rachel-Bun is on the bottom on one side and I left her open after feeding so I could put some extra hay in her cage and she decided to go check out the bunny in the x-pen.  Let's just say bunnys can breed through cage wires, especially ones as big as the x-pen's that I have.  So I guess I just might be having a tort litter.  I'll be watching her because she's not yet full size.  Alot of my stupidity is coming from where I'm looking at changing feeds yet again.  I'm looking at PenPals for a feed now and it's irratating me just thinking about it. 
     Sometimes, alot more as of recently, I still think about stopping the rabbits or the horses and giving up.  Something or someone talks me through it, or sometimes it's a few sweet nuzzles and kisses that keep me going on.  I am trying to not get discouraged and some times things just get out of control.  But that's how life is, you roll with the punches.  Seeing friends do this and all I can do is sit back and watch makes me wonder 'who my friends REALLY are'.  I know growing up people change well I think sometimes change is good.  Maybe I ought to start thinking about change.  Change something and see who's still with me.  Future dreams- riding in low level dressage and Equitation for some fun and showing my dutch bunnies with a husband.  With what I have, can I get there?  I don't know.  Yes I've got the dutch bunnies but can I make them more competitive?  I think so.  Low Level Dressage-no, Pheonix is too old and Heidi's too clutzy but I haven't the pasture space or the money to afford another horse, nor the trainer to get me there.  The husband?  No, I am seriously not the attractive type for men.  It's a depressing day especially after last night's conversations.  I really do Surrender to life.
     Well work becons me, I might edit and update after work depending on how late I am there.