Moving forward some more!

     Well it's been super good lately, Willow did great over at Lisa's in the yard where she could run to her hearts content.  I wish Luna would have run with her as I know Luna's FAST.  Luna and Tinks could just run with her.  She's fast and if I can get her trained to agility and I could do it myself she would excel.  Also assuming she likes getting out into public.  She stayed with Lisa, Jim and Dad while I ran to Tamarack to drop Heidi stuff off and try Lisa's saddle on her.  I'm hoping and praying Willow's growth on her hind food goes away with the antibiotics that Rex gave her.  I'm seriously hopeful.  I've been making her drag her leash but leaving it on the ground.  
     I was contemplating buying one of those if it actually fit Heidi now that she has withers.  Shockingly, it fits.  Well, other than the girth being about a foot too short.   Lisa told me not to buy another one that she'd sell hers a lot cheaper.  Right now I just need to order a longer girth and probably a girth extender.  I'll aim at Thursday to order those.  Then I'll talk some more to Lisa other than some dog training tips, I'll see what Lisa wants for her saddle, this way I can start getting Heidi ridden again and get her going again.  
     I'm hoping Thursday to get some phone calls made and possibly visit/tour one apartment place.  I need to get that in gear so I can get moved out and on my own.
     With all the stuff going on I'm hoping to find a way to sell or even trade some of the extra horse stuff towards stuff I need.  I intend to keep at least one of my water tubs, but I don't need both.  My dual sets of feeders and tubs I intend to keep as well cause eventually I intend to get a second horse.  At times I wish I made the money and didn't have a puppy to work with and I'd have gotten Amber from Kylie.  
     Well, hopefully I should have a more positive.  Attitude has been good lately so hopefully keep going in that direction.

Forward thinking

     I'm so ready to move forward with life.  I got some interesting information at work today.  Willow and I had a bad day, the day before yesterday but we're moving on from it.  She learned and I learned some more and we're moving on from it.  I still can't wait until she's fully trained.  I learned one of the women, that used to work at Boonesboro, got into training and showing her Basenji's, got a new job, does do dog training at her home.  Hopefully, even with a 4 month old baby, she still does it.  If I can get her to put some training into Willow and myself it would be so much easier.  Then starting into showing would be interesting.  Even if we never really make it into the show ring, I would at least like to get the training into her.  She'd be a better companion in the long run for it.  
     I'm still waiting on a trailer ride for Heidi.  Everyone that I know of doesn't have a trailer tall enough, and even those that I have emailed/called asking if they can transport most still can't for a couple weeks because of Keeneland November sales.  *sigh*  It's starting to get me crazy.  I just want  to get her over to Tamarack and that's where she's going to stay for as long as I can keep her there.  Which will be until I get married(hehe, if ever!) and get my own mini farm to move her to.  I'm hoping then to shortly either get another job, a new job that's higher paying or win the lotto(Which is the least likely).  I'm seriously considering going back to english with her, but I want to try Lisa's saddle on her first this way if that fits then I'll just order one of those and work with that until I make the money to get a custom saddle ordered so it fits her no matter what.  
     I'm still aiming to one of these days get the phone numbers to some of the apartment places so I can start calling them and talking to them.  Find a good priced 1 bed room that's pet friendly and get moved.  I know it's going to be hard and interesting but it's a new adventure for me. 

Not Perfect

     So today was beyond interesting.  Gave me more insight to myself and where my priorities lay.  I actually felt good, other than sleepy while running my day out.  It felt amazingly good to not have Willow with me.  I keep telling myself that maybe a dog wasn't the right thing for me right now.  I have a super jealous horse, and still have a few rabbits left that need attention.  Heidi even turned her back to me a couple times already.  I feel guilty not spending time with Heidi.  I know once Willow gets out of this puppy stage  it'll be far easier to be able to leave her while I go to Heidi.  If I do have come down to a choice, Heidi was first.  I do love Willow very much, but she will also be far easier to rehome into a great home over Heidi.  Willow was a bit of a hasty decision, while a wonderful addition I didn't think a lot of things through.  I'm thinking them through now.  Better late than never.  Am I going to give up now?  No.  Not yet.  Unless apartment living proves to be bad for her.  I *am* going to keep moving ahead with the apartment choice.  It's what I need to move forward with my life.  
     On the flip side, Willow's learning in leaps and bounds.  I have found her favorite spot to poddy and she does tell me when she needs to go.  She's got more energy than I really want.  Again probably the puppy aspect of her life right now.  Hopefully she settles quickly.  I don't think I have the energy to keep up with a puppy right about now.  Maybe she was the wrong choice in breed.  Who knows.  I'm with it for the long haul right now.  Shortest lived buyers remorse hopefully. I know I had no regrets at all when I decided to buy Heidi.  I do wonder why I am having them with Willow.  Maybe I'm just not the kinda person to have a dog, I'm more of a horse person?  I just don't know.  
     Flipping channels once again, Heidi's been good actually.  I think I have pinned her itchiness down to Rice Bran.  I went to soaking the pellets to put the garlic and antihistamine's in and I haven't *Knock on wood* seen her itch since then.  I did however already pull her sheet out and she's had it on since Friday evening.  I'm going to take it off today though.  She just doesn't have the fur coat quite yet that she needed for snow.  She's ready to go back to Tamarack now to just get her a ride.  I'll call one of those numbers that Sandy gave me that can haul and hopefully it's not too expensive and we shall aim for Thursday this week.  I kinda can't wait for her to get back to Tamarack.  It's where she was happiest and this helps me with my idea of moving towards Winchester.  

Standing Out

     Everything has been crazy these last few days for me.  Despite Dani not being the dog I wanted, I found one I did want.  So Lisa took the road trip with me.  Willow came home with me.  She knows who her momma was from there.  I spent that night sick with a stomach bug and she stayed by my bedside the whole night until I pulled her up onto the bed. Well despite her 20 pound size right now, she tries to hog the whole bed.  I keep telling myself that I made a mistake, I don't have the time or the patience to train a puppy.  Sometimes I really do wonder why.  Did I want a dog that badly that I had to get one?  To either extent at times I do regret doing it, and at times I do not.  I would have loved to have adopted a rescue dog to give them a second chance, but she was an older puppy from a breeder and I think she's got a good safe home with me for her life.  Sadly I do know her life span WILL be shorter than, say Heidi's, will be but I may later on get another dog I may not.  I'm hoping once I get some puppy classes under her to try and see if maybe showing in Rally would work.  I would love to try it at least once or twice you know?  

     Heidi's been just loafing and I've been trying to figure out why on earth she's still itchy and I'm down to just one last thing to try- get rid of the Rice Bran Oil.  Even if it means going back to soaking the feed to make the anti-histamine stick to it.  I haven't hardly done a thing with her lately.  Her itching has been driving me bat-shit crazy.  I have to still get her shots tomorrow, and then if Uncle Jim would help trailer, I want to move her Sunday back to Tamarack.  I know it'll be far better for her there than here for the winter and I know darn good and well I fully intend to move into Winchester and she's in the best place for me to get to her daily if I chose to.  I really need to figure out what I'm going to do with her.  

     Allen promised to do a photo shoot of me when he comes down for Thanksgiving.   It will have to be up at the barn as I want some pictures of me and Heidi, just me, me and Willow and a couple of me, Willow and Heidi.  It's debatable if I want any done of me with any of the rabbits.  Right now I'm aiming at keeping about a half dozen or so.  The Holland Lop doe is hanging in there for the mean time.  If I chose to not keep her, I may not keep Kirby either.  Right now it's sitting on Raven, Natalie, Connie, a Blue x Tobias buck(Preferring a steel buck), Penelope and possibly Raven's daughter.  This is all still preliminary.  Hopefully I can find an apartment for me and Willow to live in and then in turn I can move the rabbits to Aunt Lisa's.  Hoping I do, big time.  I'm ready for it.  

Choices

      Well my mini aussie isn't a mini and I feel completely guilty that she went to all that trouble to go and pick up a dog for me, that when she got there she knew the dog wasn't the dog for me.  Still she brought her home with her and I still went to see her.  I was glad that she called and forwarned me that she was awfully small and probably not the dog for me.  Sadly she was right.  I do like the little girl but she is too small for me.  I still feel completely guilty.  
     I was starting my car search, giving myself about $3k to work with off the cash out of my Pension from nestle and Aunt Lisa spotted a nice little blue Ford Escort for $1500.  So dad and I stopped and looked at it.  If it really is as nice as it looked, then that leaves me the extra to 'buy' my puppy.  As much as I would love to have done a rescue I might have to buy a puppy to start with.  
     I've spent the last couple days feeling like crap, not only from the itchy spots of ringworm on my arm but my allergies flared badly over the weekend.  I think it's from the rabbits, or a combo of the rabbits and the cats.  Either way- I'm going to cut them back farther.  I haven't fully figured out how yet.  I am going to keep one dutch buck and a couple of does and I may keep the holland pair, I may not.  If the doe doesn't settle down and I don't get her pedigree I will let her go to a pet home.  I only deal with pedigreed rabbits and while I'd only sell the Hollands as pets anyway.  
     Am I bad if I keep checking my email waiting for Ryan Creek Aussies to get back to me, plus to see if the pedigree comes in for the Holland Lop.  More so the Aussie.  I had gotten so eager for a dog and I know Lisa is so sorry about getting my hopes up.  It wasn't so much getting my hopes up but helping me get a good feel for my deep sought after desire.  Even to this point my rabbits aren't high on my drive.  A dog I can take with me, Heidi can stay at boarding, the rabbits tie me down.  
     While I won't sell out of them I've got a short list of a few that are going to go.  Even with Penelope coming in I can work around quite a bit of it.  Penelope, Raven, Connie, Natalie are guaranteed to stay.  If the Spellmire blue doe throws a gorgeous steel buck I'll keep that in place of his daddy.  That puts my Chins out.  I know I went for the longest time wanting to get them, but right now don't like spending the time with them.  I kinda can't wait to spend it working with my dog and with Heidi.  One less thing to have to deal with really.  

Heads up!

     Well a lot of things have started to come back around.  Now to only see if my paycheck can help to balance around.  Aunt Lisa found me an aussie.  It's a blue merle mini.  I'm thinking of the name of Willow for her.  I kinda can't wait to meet her see what she's like.  I can't wait to have a dog again.  Now hopefully I can possibly place my cats.  I think the cats are what's sending my allergies out the window.  Not completely sure but I'm going to talk to Kim about getting my allergies checked.  
     She's going to hate seeing me this go around.  I'll have been off my high blood pressure medicine for a week, I want her to get me something to help bring my diastolic number down, the systolic number has come back down.  I'm going to see about hopefully getting a stronger thyroid med since I still get sleepy but no where near as bad when I had her first run some blood work.  I'm also going to have her check my left knee.  I banged it badly when I came off Drifter months ago, and the kneeling on the concrete that I do multiple times daily it's gotten really sore and if I can just make sure it's safe to start walking, biking more and just adding to my working out. I'm still aiming at dropping 100 pounds.  I think 170-175 is a good weight for me.  I may have to do something else to help but I'll have a good talk to Kim about it.   
     I'm also still working on figuring out new ways to lose weight.  I'm hoping with having Willow to have to walk and work it'll help as well and I'm going to aim at lots of walking and some jogging.  Training work with Willow, training and riding Heidi(more riding than training).  So much excitement, so little time.  Weekend rabbit show- which hopefully I can sell my extra's.  The one baby of Raven's and the other turns out really quite nice to keep and raise.  I'm thinking a few rabbit shows each year as they die off and maybe I will continue maybe I won't.  THAT is still very much so up in the air.  It's still up in the air as to weather or not I'm keeping Heidi home. as well.  So much to think about, so little time.

Wandering Alone

     Today has been actually quite a good day for me.  Blake has come home which I wasn't expecting.  I figured he was gone for a while due to his owner, Grayson, having to have medical tests done in Louisville.  I've never been so glad to see Blake again.  For a while I felt it had been a nuisance taking up my lunch break but he's been such a stress relief for me to have him to work with.  Maybe he's acting as my substitute for having my own dog.  He's such a smart dog, surprisingly.  It really  does surprise me and it's got to be in the genetics and the up bringing.  I started a lot of his work when he was barely 16 weeks old.  He's more than doubled in size and his manners are wonderful now.  
     I still want my own dog.  I have my hopes running high when Lisa told me about Jenny- the lady that runs Heartland Sheltie Rescue, might have a breeder going out and turning over all their mini aussies.  Lisa said she's already inquired to see if they have a Red Merle female.  She'd foster and see if me and pup work well together and I'd go forth and adopt.  I really do want my own.  I know I have to stick to mini's because of my future apartment living.  The sooner I can get out on my own the better it'll be.  Jess and I have had a few spats now.  Lots of it pertaining to Ayden really.  I feel that she's using my job to get Ayden his medical requirements cheaper than what she's willing to pay.  So I feel I can at least keep his face clean shaven to my desires.  Well, she got huffy with me for shaving his scruffy face the other day and I really wanted to shave down by his eye so I could take another look at it.  Well she wants to get huffy with me, she's on her own.  Ayden's her problem.  She's got two months worth of thyroid med, I'm going to pick up a 6 month HeartGuard tomorrow if I remember and that's all I am doing.  Especially if I get my own dog, she's really on her own.  
     I played with Heidi today.  Wasn't much but it was something.  I let her loose for an hour in the backyard for an hour to eat some grass.  I have to make the choice really quickly to either get hay in or move her back to Tamarack for the winter. Cost wise should be equal for 5 months so there's no saying.  I'll think about it some more at work tomorrow. 
     Mom went to a new podiatrist down here in KY.  She talked to him and explained to him my issues that I have with my foot and he told her the same thing both Poster's did in NY.  Can't fix it I'm too young.  But he at least explained the reasons why.  It would be fusing the bones together and I wouldn't be able to walk for at least 6 months to a year and I wouldn't walk the same and possibly without some kind of aid like a cane.  So I kept putting my mind through the math and I realized I've already gone 8 years with the pain, what's another 15 years?  I've more or less gotten use to it, and if I can hold myself until 45 years old, then I could just retire Heidi to pasture puff as she would be 23  by then.  But I will have to have my left knee checked out sooner.  It's as badly painful as my right foot.  This I did between a combo of Nestle and coming off Drifter.  Smacking knee first into the ground was probably not the bestest of idea's.  What's done is done now to get it all squared away.  
     Work had some interesting turns but I'm going to try and corner Diane and talk to her, wait, she's off tomorrow.Well I'll shoot to get to her sometime and really talk to her again.  I can draw blood (Did a couple cats that Diane couldn't get) I wrap packs, I'm pretty unflappable to what comes my way, so hopefully it helps to secure me a small pay raise at least.  I'm ready for it.