Wonder thoughts

     I've been doing whatever it takes to keep Bailey alive, as most people know.  I bought her a mid weight blanket-which has kept her snuggly warm and gone through and gotten her so much and modified her diet to keep her at weight gain.  She's taken the deworming in stride, so she's not worm infested.  Stood like a lady for her feet trim, so yes next step is the vet.  Rabies, Coggins, teeth and a Preg check.  I do have to go over and get some pictures of Drifter to compare from her take in pictures to how she looks for Aunt Lisa now.  

     She's been letting me love on her and I actually started trying treats with her.  At first she didn't really understand what I was giving her but then she realized it was tasty.  She loves the one Apple ones I picked up before that Heidi's not exactly thrilled with.  Heidi will still eat them but not her favorite thing to eat.  
     Well today's going to turn bad, I have to go to Nestle.  It sucks but it's a paying job.  Right now I'm at my out of pocket max between the bloodwork, the ultrasound, and then the ultrasound guided biopsy- it's satisfied!  So any more bloodwork I need done before I leave Nestle I won't have to pay for.  Good thing there!  I swear up and down it's Nestle's fault that I got so screwed up in the first place.  Truthfully probably not but it just feels so good to blame someone!  At least I'll have some good company for these couple of nights that I have to work.  Though I'd still rather have a different job soon, I am waiting my time.  Good things comes to those that wait, right??    

Horse dates

     Between Jasmine, Phoenix, Bahloo, Heidi and now Bailey  I have learned so much and I get a minor feeling, I'm in line to learn some more.  I really think Bailey's bred, and without much doubt I'd bet Drifter is if Bailey is.  Could be neither are but they both could be or even just one be bred.  So I'll learn about foals that way if she is bred.  I'm hoping I'm well wrong but Bailey's just- weird.  Her belly shifts and moves way more than Heidi's, Phoenix's or even Jasmine's used to.  I might have to invest into a stethoscope to listen and see if that helps, or wait until March when the vet comes out to do her shots and coggins and have him palpate.  I might try to get him out Wednesday or Thursday.  I'll have to call them first thing tomorrow morning.  Hopefully I can get him out!  I really am worried.  I don't know what I'd do differently but I do know that it'll be less to mentally mess with if I worry.  

     I still have six of the 7 babies born to Alura.  I finally was able to look through them today.  2 Have waves in their saddles, while showable not high on the priority list as show stock, 1 has a split stop so that marks it as a disqualification.  1 DQ baby in the bunch.  The runt that died was show ably marked.  I'm hoping at least one of the really nice babies is a buck to replace it's daddy.  I can't wait for these babies to hit the showtable.  

     My tax return is back and already half gone.  But I've gotten my bills from St Claires all paid off, got Bailey's blanket and my alternator paid off from where dad paid for them.  I got some blanket wash ordered, Heidi's mid weight blanket ordered while they were on sale.  This way I have her a midweight for when I actually need it I'll have it.  Eventually, over the summer I'll order the neck cover and the heavy weight so I have them for when she gets old.  If I keep Bailey I'll order the set for her as well, she needs the heavy, neck cover and the rain sheet.  I may totally skip the neck covers as I'm not a freak for using them anyway.  But my girls will have their 'jackets' and I could keep them good from here.  Keeps Bailey and Heidi set up for the future down the dream.  

     I am still dreaming about that Clyde mare.  I'd LOVE to put her with my herd, she'd be a good second horse to have here for people to come ride with me.  Sadly I do not have the money to buy her so I can just drool.  She'd have blue for her color.  It's planned out already!  Heidi in purple, Bailey in pink and the Clyde mare in blue.  

     Just imagine her in blue, a nice blue saddle pad, and bright blue halter- yummy.  Yes, but I'll continue to dream.  It's the end of my dream to have two horses for riding so I can have a riding partner.  I'll have to wait and watch and see what I can do as the time goes on.  Who knows, I may end up keeping Heidi at a boarding barn and never have the need to get a second riding horse.  I'll always keep it in the back of my mind.  Bailey is also a second concern.  She does need a friend here. I'll stop dreaming now while I have a chance.  Time to move on to something else to dream and drool over!

Happy Days!

     Very happy, tired, but happy and amused.  Jess FINALLY started working again.  Don't know for how long yet but still working again.  Awesome.  Now she has to keep said job and hoping by the end of March she'll have almost enough for a small studio apartment and can get her own place.  That's my hopes and dreams.  She had said she planned to have her own place by March so lets see if she still thinks she can.  
     I know right now, as in before work, I don't have a lot of time but I'll type as much and as fast as I can.  I am hopeful for a new job at least an interview next week.  I'll be putting in some more applications starting again next Wednesday.  I've got so much to do and so little time!  I have about my strongest desire to leave Nestle as I ever have, other than Eli.  I do quite enjoy talking to Eli.  He's funny and just good to talk to.  Laid back people are always the best.  Several co-worker, including Eli's partner on line 6, Jason, thinks the two of us would make a great couple.  I don't know so much about that but we're both single both low mid aged and we work well together.  We'll see what happens.  I'd hate to leave him behind after we rather got to know each other.  I know the other day I started to clean Line 6 dough after he got done(I was on White flake and waiting for 8 to get ready to be cleaned) and he stayed for a while and helped me clean and we were just talking.  It was relaxing.  
     Bailey has been a source of amusement these last few days.  I know she's itchy between dry skin and rain rot she's just beyond itchy.  I"m still toying with the idea of homing her out.  My head is telling me to do it she needs a child to bond to;  my heart says no she's safer with me.  Both are true so which one do you go with?  She's been a good source of amusement as I never know where her feed pans are in the morning.  This morning I watched her pick up her pan that's up by the barn(where I feed her) and walk around the pasture with it in her mouth.  She's down to a half a bale of hay a day and she doesn't quite finish that so there's still a TEENY bit of waste still but not as much anymore.  She's looking so good under her blanket I can't wait for the weather to turn better so I can take the blanket off and give her a good brush down.  I may start her with some Rice Bran oil to help her coat and skin a little.  I hate putting so much into the mare if I'm just going to rehome her in the spring though.  What to do, what to do, so many choices, so little time and energy to devote to thinking about it!  
     I really need to win the lottery, really I do!  Then I could buy a place with a good 5 or 6 acre pasture, and a small area I can make a riding arena.  Keep Heidi, Bailey and get one of these two lovely ladies!  I myself prefer the bay color over the black but I'm used to HEIGHT and WIDTH now and I think the Bay looks wider than the black(plus never been that big of a fan of black to start with).

     Oh the joys to being broke!  Can look but can't have!  Bay mare is $1250 Black $1600.  I bet we could talk the guy into $2500 for both- he IS a horse trader.  Some nice big windfall of money would be good!  Anyone have a spare $1250 I can have to buy the bay mare!?  Hehehe.  Then I could really ride into town for Court Days on her.  Of coarse I'd take her both western and english and she should fit a regular FQHB western.  Oh I'll dream of coarse. 

Another ranting day

     Just another bad night at Nestle.  My lord I've never seen so many dumb asses in one location.  Seriously I haven't.  This bunch made turnips look like Albert Einstein.  Maybe it's just my low threshold for stupidity, or a high intolerance for retards.  I seriously can not take this place any more.  I don't see how a company can seriously still be in business running the way this plant does.  No wonder their workforce has DECLINED 19% in this economy!  People can't take it anymore.  I'm at that point.  I'd rather flip burgers, seriously, than to deal with this anymore.  I'm to a point of applying to those places just to get the hell away from Nestle.  
     Jess hasn't been helping, I'm to a point of tomorrow, I'm putting a parent control on the computer so that the internet cuts off at midnight.  Force her to go to bed, she WILL be getting a job or she WILL be going back to Ohio to Lee and Donna.  I don't give a flying fuck what she thinks.  We cannot support her and I'm sick and tired of us not having this or that each week because none of us can afford anything more in groceries.  I'm done, just DONE.   She needs to get off her ass and get a fucking job.  She's not a kid she's 31 years old with a dog that she needs to take care of and I will not take care of myself because he's not mine.  I have 2 horses, 20 something rabbits.  I would figure out how to work a dog in if I had to but I don't need to, she took him and she insists that she couldn't leave him- well then damn well support him.  
     Winter surely isn't helping at all, along with some of my bastard bucks that keep spraying.  Just as soon as they replace themselves they are going.  I don't give a damn how much I paid for them, I'm just so irritated.  If I could find a roommate to share a place with, that I could afford I'd be gone from here.  As much as it would hurt me to leave dad like this.  I can't do this to dad.  He depends on my $80 a week to pay for groceries because that's one less thing he has to pay for- that's a straight $80 plus whatever else I have to pick up extra weather it be company store or 'can you pick this up' deals.  We're still waiting on mom's disability so that can make things easier.  Winter's not helping by continuing to DRAG on.  Frozen water dishes every day, so cold I feel like a human popsicle coming in after feeding.  
     My broken tooth hasn't been helping, having an incredibly painful mouth doesn't help.  I've had plenty of time to get the tooth yanked out- just not the money to do so.  Same issue with the truck really.  My truck has been sitting now for several weeks, get the headlight switch replaced and the alternator breaks down- the headlight switch is an original part that I replaced, so $20 for a lifetime warranty on that no problem.  The Alternator on the other hand, is 13 months old- 1 month out of warranty for a $90 alternator.  Life's a bitch- I'm giving it right back though.  Tax return money will go to catching up my Sallie Mae, getting front tires on my truck, Heidi's teeth floated and *hopefully* new exhaust on the truck.  Anything else left over will go towards the other bills that are still current but could use the boost.   
     The last thing not helping is lack of sleep.  Anywhere from 4.5 to 6 hours on a REALLY good night of sleep with this schedule.  I'm surely ready to lose it, if I haven't already.  I mean last night, I cussed my supervisor out for being stupid, TWICE, in less than a half hour.  Then cussed my line lead a few hours later for being stupid.  And I wasn't tired yesterday.  
     At least when I'm half dead and the doctors office calls to give me the results of my biopsy-again- I'm a smart ass instead of a royal bitch.  At least that came back positively.  It's just thyroiditis causing the Hypothyroidism.  The lump on my thyroid is benign.   Good and hopefully they don't have to do that biopsy anytime soon again.  I hated my neck being sore and stiff.

Me, Myself and I

     I am quite thrilled to see Heidi come up to me today.  I walked about 10 feet into the pasture and hollered for her and she came all the way to the gate for me!  Yeah, as I have to replace my rubber boots.  BOTH pair of my rubber boots have holes in the, both in the right foot too.  Dang, dang, dang!  Oh well.  I see why now most folks braid their horses tails in the winter.  Heidi's was frozen muddy ice on the ends today.  I put her Schneider blanket back on because it has leg straps and I wanted her to have the blanket come down a little farther around her belly.  The pink you can see from a ways away though!!  I'm going to bring the pink blanket home and get a couple new loops onto it and some new leg straps so that I can use it next winter for Heidi.  

     I still think as much as I do love Bailey I think I really need to work to find her a good home.  I really need to keep working on Heidi.  I need to spend more time with Heidi too.  I just want to go back up to her every day, I want to put her onto full board and just work on her!  I really do!   I wish I could win the lotto so I could work on her a LOT more and not worry about Nestle.  
     I guess, after tomorrow with Bailey hopefully getting her feet done I will start spreading word of mouth for a home for Bailey.  Once my tax return comes in I'll get Bailey her Rabies shot and a Coggin's pulled to help her get the chance at a good home, her adoption fee will cover some of the costs I've put out including her blanket.  I'd still love to keep her here but I'd rather keep Heidi at Tamarack as I'm so happy there.  I love my days up there, despite the cold, just talking to Sandy or when I'm alone, just letting Heidi out into the arena, locking us in there and just sitting with her.  I haven't even attempted to try anything like that with Bailey.  Bailey's more or less lucky I do love her, and the fact that I am gullible,  Heidi will always be my number 1!

Investing to my future

     I'm back to being tossed up about what to do with Bailey.  My head keeps telling me rehome her so you can stay more focused on Heidi.  I want to keep Heidi at Tamarack, I have still yet to find a new job that would allow me to put both together at Tamarack and keep both.  If I had a bigger pasture I wouldn't even think twice about building a small barn with two stalls for the girls and keeping them both, but I need a bigger pasture for that.  My pasture at present isn't exactly ideal for Heidi either as it's too wet here.  Nothing will separate me from Heidi though, I won't give up on her.  I don't want to give up on Bailey either though.   My heart says to keep her as a a pet.  Poor little girl has been through quite enough in her few short years, she needs to have a home with love and compassion.  I'm trying to think of my future as well, two horses make things way more difficult to do things, but so doesn't having all the rabbits.  So things can really go more than one way.  I'll need to start thinking about future plans for both in case something goes astray.  
     I'm building a little bit in the rabbits so as the time comes up I can cross out and move out.  As much as I do like the Wiley tort doe Della and the Gerhart tort buck Jayger I'll probably keep a baby out of that cross and move both of them on- same with my Open Fields tort doe Marie and the Buckeye Hollow farm tort buck Corbin.  I've brought in a couple of steels that will start and solidify the base of the steels.  I've decided to take the barn in more of that direction over the torts.  Steel, blue and chinchilla.  That's been solidified.  Chocolates have been ruled out and torts are thinning down.  After losing both of my tort Rachel's I've fought tooth and nail to get the loving desire for them to come back and it never has.    
     I was up, Super Bowl Sunday to see my princess.  It was cold and miserable outside so I brought her in, cleaned her up and put her in a stall with some hay and her mash to eat.  I sat in the corner of her stall on a five gallon bucket. 

     Heidi's acting like she's starving, she dove into the feed pan and the hay like she hadn't eaten in a week.  I knew she had been fed hay outside.  Perry gets a little heavy on the hay part at times.  I was glad to see she was calm and sedentary in the stall despite the donkeys in the next stall banging against the wall.  To me the stall is still a bit too small.  10 x 10 is my best guess.  Now I know she can still turn around in the stall as she did while I was in there in the corner.  After our Super Bowl party-which was almost a blow out Seahawks over Denver 42 -8.  I came home across some pretty ugly roads as the weather turned ugly. 
     This morning I found out it was mostly ice.  

     I did get to watch some of the Purina challenge show.  The Shelties and Border Collies kicked some ass.  I'm still waiting for the time to eventually get my own dog which goes back to Bailey as well.  If I keep Bailey I'll have to wait a LONG time to ever think about getting a dog.  I really miss having a dog that is actually MINE.  I am still set on a red merle Australian Shepard.  I'd like to try showing Rally or agility some day, doign that will most likely put showing horses on the back burner but Bailey wouldn't ever be shown anyway but Heidi I thought about english flat classes some day to maybe dressage.  Why oh why can't I win the lotto so I can actually get things going, but fighting to get things together is better, teaches you more along the way.  
     As for weight control.  I made it through so far the same weight since Jan 1st.  I've got a month less now to lose 30 pounds by August 29th.  I did weigh in this morning so Super Bowl party didn't kill me.  I was out running with Ayden today in the back yard and then sat out in the barn, thoroughly chilled clipping bunny nails.  Some of them made me cringe, I'm not usually this bad about clipping nails.  Speedle and a few of the others had some really LONG nails and that's not normal for me. I like well kept nails.  I've really been slacking on a LOT of things and it's not normal at all.  I think a vast majority of it has to do with Nestle.  Once I get Nestle in my past I'm hoping things will take a few turns towards the better.  I can't wait to get Nestle into my past.  Nestle has been just down right time consuming, stressful and filled with ignorance.  
     This five day, other than not over quite yet, has been interesting.  Ky and Rae drove down to spend the weekend with me.  I didn't get enough time with them at all.  Saw them some on Friday when we spent some time over with Heidi and we all rode her(as seen in the previous posts), then they got here for some supper on Saturday since I had to do hay with dad.  They ended up leaving early Sunday instead of Monday due to the inclement weather, so that cut a day off.  I hardly got to spend any time with them.  Breakfast Sunday morning didn't happen because of my thyroid medication.  I woke up about 5 minutes before they got here, took my pill and that gave me an hour before I could eat, they only had about an hour before they wanted to take off.  Well shit.  That ruined a bunch of things.  So not much ever happened.  We walked the dogs together Saturday night, well Ky and her puppy Eli and I took Ayden, Rae was in with Buster tucked up into her jacket still talking to Mom.  

     Bailey's had her blanket on now for close to a week, since it came in really.  It's helped her a LOT I think.  Today was in the low 60's, I had it off and got a good brushing on her and she looks 10000000000x better now than she did 4 weeks ago!

She's gaited, sorta.  She trots and she pace/gaits so it's strange for me to figure it out.  I can't wait to see how she comes out farther down the road.  I"m back to teetering on adopting her out and keeping her.  I had decided for a little while to just keep her but she'd make some child a really good pony, she really would.  So hard to decide!
     Tomorrow is Super Bowl, and I'll go and see Heidi first and then stop to watch the Super Bowl with Dad, Aunt Lisa and Uncle Jim!