It's been quite a crazy couple of days. I didn't even stop at the barn Monday or Tuesday. Just came home. Today I finally did stop at the barn and just didn't even have the gumption to tack up. I brought each mare in, in turn, and gave them solid groomings and shaved their halter paths good and down. I don't really know why I just didn't get up and ride either girl. I haven't ridden since Sunday and I really want to. Maybe it's lack of having someone to ride with. Well, no it can't be. I could have ridden with Shana and Erica today. Shana swapped out horses from Hope to Clara and Erica stayed on Finnegan but went to bareback for Shana's ride on Clara. I could have gone bareback on Heidi with them. I should have. I don't know why I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe it was because I didn't want to try and change cloths, or it was still kinda warm and I had Willow in the car or something! I just don't know! Maybe it's because I'm such a bad rider that I didn't want to try and ride in front of those two. I really need lessons. I can't wait to just keep pushing myself forward, onward and upwards. My girls are so calm and it's my dream, just living it, now to make the living I need to support myself and my three wonderful girls.
Thinking my girls. At times it still never feels real that Amber is here and she's just as calm as I remember. The first week she was here it was terrible, but once she settled into the bottom field it has been perfect. She's calm and she's relaxed with me. I mean to me, she still feels a little thin but I'm still waiting for the pasture to really start growing good grass and I am sure her weight will pick up. She stays calm even when she has several days off and is really learning quickly the ropes and rules at the barn. I am hoping that soon I should have a saddle in for her and then in a couple of weeks Michael will be in for her next trim and I'm going to have him put front shoes on her, then when Heidi's due, I'll have fronts put on her as well. I can't wait to really get going with the girls and get a lot of things together so I can really advance myself in my life.
Heidi is just really Heidi. She's calm and I'm watching for her serious itching to start again. I have both girls on the Spirulina wafers when I get there to do feeding. She's starting to NOT run away from me when I go out to get her. She still won't come to me most of the time but she has stopped running away. Her new halter that I picked up at Perri's Leather tent at Rolex actually FITS her. Yes it's turquoise but it fits her and it's only a 1" wide which I've been looking for, for ages. Yes, now to save up for a couple leather halters for the girls.
Last little lady to think of is my Willow baby. Today Lisa set up a mini rally coarse. I fumbled the first few runs and then some was literally lack the training. At least now I know where I need to get her working to get her more ready for the show in a month. Oh lord I hope I can do this. She's so hyper still it's hard to get her to focus that quickly.
Well as normal everything comes down to money. I need to make more money, win the lotto or get this big wind drift of money to keep things together. As always I will always figure things out. I have to learn to listen to my heart on things that matter, but I will listen to a good solid voice of reason. I know I cannot really afford what I need to do so I NEED to get a better job so I can! I will never give up.
This past Rolex weekend has had both it's ups and it's downs. I was more than tickled to see Kylie and Rachel. But things have gone both ways. I had a bit of trouble keeping up with Kylie on Friday at Dressage. Kylie bought my seat tickets and I felt kinda bad. I knew the weekend was coming up yet I didn't have the money saved up to actually do the shopping that I really wanted to. I wanted to look into leather halters for the girls, a wither relief pad- either fleece or foam as a just in case deal for Amber. I still feel totally terrible that Kylie paid for dinner one night- and the total stadium day. She paid all the gas to go back and forth and even went riding with me and tested Heidi some for me as well. She also paid for the saddle for Amber. I am making the vow to at least pay her back for the saddle. I rode in Shana's saddle again on Sunday and that should *hopefully* be the last time I have to borrow Shana's saddle. Mine should come tomorrow and I am hoping it will fit without needing the wither relief pad. I will be trying it on her Wednesday or Thursday after work. I have never felt some calm and comfortable on her as I do now. The more I work with her the more I feel confident. A lot of my problem I think is I always ride alone and that's what is getting me Making the girls actually work I never know what I am doing wrong. Hopefully that should all soon change.
Willow is really upset that I left her home most of the weekend. She's not used to being left behind. I am hoping by next year's Rolex she'll be good enough to come with me, granted I won't be able to get seat tickets but I am always good to be able to sit on the lawn with Willow. I need to get her training on the ball again. I should be mailing entries in the next week or two for the show. I just need a little guidance in filling it out so I don't screw it up. I would hate to screw it up and miss out on our first show.
I think there's a thunder storm rolling in. I didn't think there was supposed to be. I hope the weather stays awesome as the springs rolls up so the mare's paddock can take off and grow. I might have to go back to mowing the lawn again as dad's hours start adding up again but I can do it. It'll mean killing half a day off each week to mow but I can do it. Thinking of days off. I may not have any coming up. I found a guy looking for a photographer. So I'm going to see about doing it part time and make the clinic give me a set day a week off(IE Tuesdays) and I can work with them Tuesdays, Saturday afternoons and Sundays.
I just couldn't manage to stay up last night to work on this, so here it goes on a rainy Sunday morning instead.
Everything on the dog front has been awesome, and I mean awesome. Willow's listening really well, we've been working pretty good, we have off days. Trying to make her work on a rainy day when she's been cooped up is a pure joke. Takes a lot more warming up and working to get her back to actually working. Despite that I've had her out running while it was just sprinkling and she's laying, dozing, at my feet. She truly is a really good dog. Maybe not what it takes to show as well as some others but I'm learning at the same time she is. We hit bumps and ruts but what team doesn't?
Speaking of teams there's always Amber. I've finally ridden her up and down to the outdoor from the bottom barn. We're finally starting to work together. The girls are both still very jealous of each other but they manage. I tried one last time with the dressage saddle and it is really still a fight to keep leg position, so I have given up on such a wonderful saddle. If I had seen this a long time ago and known it I probably would have given up easily on the saddle. Alas now that I do have someone willing to help me it does make it so much easier to do something and then learn what I've done right and what I've done wrong. I don't have any issues with someone telling me I did something wrong, but at least show me or tell me what I did do wrong so I can correct it. I keep pushing Amber more and more to my for-thoughts and She's got such a kind sweet eye, but I do love Heidi deeply. I know somethings are better let go if you love them but Heidi I will not. She loves me no matter what. I can accidentally hurt her and she still loves me. No bond like that with Amber-yet.
Now thinking onto Heidi. I have to save up and eventually pay Lisa for her AP saddle. I fall into position there's no fight with my body and she moves right out with it on there. So I'm not sure if it's something with the wool flocking in the saddle or if it's me improving or what. I haven't fully decided yet if I want to try and breed Heidi to a TB stallion if I can find one and see if the baby will come out decent as an up and coming show horse or if I want to wait a few more years or change Heidi to driving. Heidi's built so nicely for driving it would be a shame to waste such talent for the driving realm. I do have a new bit to try on her now. a 6" french link loose ring. Apparently a french link is a better training bit. There's no way I'd ever get rid of her but I still think a nice cross to a short backed TB would be a pretty good foal!
Well I need a nap now that laundry is running. I still got up early hoping to get to the barn to ride before it rained. I mean I got the horse blankets all washed yesterday and hanging in the barn to dry and I've got my cloths running today and I've got a heck of a headache. Maybe a short nap will help it go away. Curl up with Willow and nap time shall be commencing. After nap will be finish laundry, fold and put it away and then clean up my room.
I know now a LOT of things have started making way more sense. Today's ride on Miss Heidi seemed to solidify a lot of it. I did a double switch on her, swapped back to Lisa's saddle and to her Nylon bridle with her loose ring bit in it. She was way more relaxed and comfortable, and my body position fell right into place. I have to fight myself to get the right position in the dressage saddle. So maybe that's why Heidi's been fighting me. If I am in the wrong position it's got to be bothering her. So I've put the dressage saddle up for trade for a saddle for Amber. Looking at AP saddles right now. I am thinking just maybe, we can show come this fall. At least Amber and I, and maybe a greenie class for Heidi. Of coarse finding someone to trailer them is even more interesting. Heidi's just massively wide. She's literally only 16 or 16.1 hands, but wide. Heidi's short and wide, Amber's tall and narrow! I've been bouncing back and forth between the girls. Today was sprinkling so I tacked up and rode Heidi really quick. I had to keep making adjustments on the stirrups so it was an interesting ride. But now the saddle is adjusted for me and we'll be ready again soon! Tomorrow is an Amber afternoon. Hopefully I can get there without it raining. If it's raining I won't bother except to pull Heidi in and give her, her grain and supplements. If it's not raining Miss Amber will be tacked up with Shana's saddle and I WILL walk her up to the arena and hopefully ride her back down.
10 more days until the doTERRA class and fliers are now going up! I've got some to put up myself and I'm excited! I can't wait to share them with others.
It has been a seriously thrilling weekend. Friday I finally got up on Amber. It was fantastic. The saddle wasn't worth a nickle and really hurt my butt and back too. That's what I get for a $30 cheap saddle. So for now I can lunge Amber in it until I can actually afford a new (or new to me) saddle that will fit Amber. Shana told me she was teach me how to properly lunge her to help build muscle and stamina back up. I can also build and work Heidi the same way to start building stamina.
So Saturday I stayed home and cleaned my car, Allen changed the oil and the fuel filter. It was a good thing. I actually spent a little more time with Allen this time around than I have in the past. I did the rabbits once and I know for dang sure I need to get rid of them. I'm going to keep 4 of them, total, that's it. Chin baby I am keeping, Connie, Natalie and Raven I am keeping- that's all, that's it. Even yesterday and today when I had the time to do something with them, I chose not to.
Willow was a barky growling mess and still is when I am in my room, but she went up to both Allen and Aunt Sheri to get petted. She won't jump into their laps like she will mine.
For horses, today was a serious lesson with Heidi. Shana was showing me how to teach Heidi to work on a lunge line to build up her stamina and to help her gain balance. Then she wanted to see how my balance was. Well let me just say that's a first for me. My balance wasn't terrible but my leg position left a lot to be desired. So I have a LOT to work on myself. Heidi worked for almost a solid hour, she was sweating good. So I untacked and hosed her off, gave her, her spirulina wafers and then a few peppermints. I let her nibble some grass and let her back out. She was wore out. Tomorrow I will do it again, but maybe not quite as long I don't want her to get sore or burned out.
I have done a TON of thinking and while I love Amber I think she and Lisa might get along pretty good too. She's actually quite a nice mare, a bit dominant but she's a calm under saddle kinda mare. I'll see if Lisa would like to try working with her on the ground, do some of the lunge work and see if maybe Amber is a good mare for her to work with. It would make things easier for for me while I start working Heidi a lot harder. But it's still a talk to Lisa and see what she thinks. It means just signing a rider's release for the time being. I'm going to try and save up for a saddle to fit Amber as it is. I love Amber but I really want to focus on getting Heidi together. Heidi, Amber and Shana have all given me hope to be able to show Heidi in the future.
Well I must go bid Allen and Aunt Sheri well and get Willow out to pee and get myself to bed. I'm going to be short on sleep tomorrow but I can deal with that, especially since I have Tuesday off!
I had a great stab of courage today. I've mentally set myself to get on Amber this weekend. Her feet are just like I had feared. Flattened out and a bit too long in toe and low in heel. Dave trimmed them yesterday and he did do a fairly good job. Michael at least gave me a game plan to start getting them back into shape. For the short term Amber will be on a 4 week trim schedule and when Heidi and her come due again we will re-evaluate where they are and if we need to keep her at 4 weeks a little longer. We both agreed they were no where near as long and low as Phoenix's were at one point, but he rounded the ends enough so that she shouldn't trip, especially if I keep it slower. No cantering or jumping just yet. Which is okay with me, I won't be doing any of that for a little while yet anyway. First is walk/trot and working together.
There was a no go on any of the other jobs. At least so far. It's rather depressing and I know I have to keep my chin up and just keep at it. I will find something else, I have just got to.
Thinking of things, I still have my doTERRA class to get set up and completely ready to roll over Rolex weekend. Barb and Cathryn will be here to teach the class and apparently we can't hold it at the Library. So I'm back to square one to finding a place to hold it. It's can't be too far off the path of Winchester and maybe I can find something just talking at work. Though I don't talk much about it at work because of the fact I've heard too much bad about oils through them. So still on the hunt for the better job!
Now onto friendships. This is where it's been painful too much. Now I'm sitting as Lisa and Kylie are my two best friends. Lisa because she's the closest thing I have inside my family that understands me. Yes so what, so she's old enough to be my mother(in fact she's the same age as my mom). No Kylie has nothing to do with Amber it has everything to do with how the two of us kinda only have each other. Soon we'll have each other again and to heck with the rest of them. Rachel, Michelle and Sandy are all lumped together into a much more friendly acquaintances than close friends anymore.
Well here comes a 3 day marathon at work. Then Saturday is off for dog show if Jim's not going with Lisa, if he is, I'm going to stay home and spend some time with Aunt Sheri and Allen while they are here and I'll do what I can to work Willow in the yard if it's not overly squishy, if it is I might have to take a short trip up to Lowes or Tractor Supply to do some work.
The worlds of change have been going on here. I've been working with Amber for a week now. I should have done more work or something as Amber doesn't really like me. I still love her, she's super well built, she's got gorgeous markings but alas her mentality and attitude is a lot different than what I remember. She's seriously top mare in the field, so much so that now the Pasture board mares are not allowed grain anymore. Amber's too pushy. So today I figured I'd tack up and just walk Amber around the arena. Amber refused to let me come anywhere near her when I had a halter, just being a stubborn mare, and Heidi came up to me instead so I brought her in and tacked her up. We took a good walk up and around and her coughing is back being off the grain and off her Spirulina wafers. So every night after work I will have to grab her and give her a handful of grain and her wafers. I just don't know what to really do anymore. I'm hoping after work tomorrow will not be terribly rainy and I can grab Amber and take her into the barn and clean her up best I can and then I'll tack her up and keep her in a rope halter and go up to the indoor. I'll work on the rope halter until she's ready and then I'll get up if I'm not terribly soaked and we're working some. If it's pouring I will just grab Heidi and give her, her supplements. Eventually, assuming Amber is able to stay with me, I want to get both girls on the Garlic so I don't have to worry about flies in the summer, or just Heidi if Amber ends up not working out for me. I now have all that remorse and regret building up. I think I just can not give her the attention she's craving. I don't know yet. Not giving up just yet unless she does prove to be too much horse for me.
I have been hesitant to photo and openly list all my rabbits for sale. I really need to but I haven't gotten that far yet. I really need to though. I'll be keeping 4 rabbits. No bucks at this point at all. I'm keeping Connie, Natalie, Raven, and a Chin. In theory I should keep Raven's gray daughter so I will have 4 of different colors, but Raven's been with me for too long now. So just a black, a chin and 2 steels.
I never did get a hold of Lisa today for a dog training session. I will do what I can to do some training with Willow at the clinic this week. I might even go over to Lowes during lunch, if I wasn't too afraid of not getting back in time. It's okay, I will keep at it, heeling is our sore spot still and I think, just maybe, I can work on that in the cattle area if it's raining, if not we'll be out walking back behind the Giovanni's and back into that little housing area.
I know another blog post again. Here I am watching the cartoon version of The Hobbit and instead of really paying attention to it I'm cruising online again. Still looking at other jobs. I don't know if a breeding barn is going to work out with my dog showing schedule. Even if I did a single show a month they're still mostly on Saturdays and in order to actually get all that done I need to show, I need to have a very flexible schedule. I don't think a TB breeding farm is going to be that flexible, and the clinic isn't high enough paying to keep up with it. I haven't been able to get my doTERRA off the ground yet. So the continuing job hunt has still been carried on. I hate the idea of giving up on so many other jobs so far but I need to keep hunting. The perfect job is out there and it WILL show up with enough hard work to get there. I wish I had a shorter drive everywhere. I want to eventually get to a place in life that I can have my horses at home, I make enough to stay comfortable.
I didn't mind work the last few days at all. Today was just the height of amusing for me. Jeff got in and told us Clay broke his elbow last night and Rex wouldn't be in. Scotty's on Vacation, Doc's still in Florida and it was Patrick's day off. So Jeff was going to be by himself. Well, needless to say we all were downcast as Jeff's not the fastest person. So in comes Mary for something, she had also heard about Rex's son and she had called Patrick. Patrick was on his way in to help cover until Rex could get there. Mary covered a few rooms as Jeff got the worse ones. Then Patrick finally showed up about 9, Mary talked to him real quick before she left. Patrick did rooms and a couple of the surgeries until Rex got in at 11:30. Rex looked like he had gotten run over by a truck. He hadn't slept all night staying with Clay at UK(from what I overheard) and once he went into surgery Rex had left, gotten Coco and Callie and got to the clinic. Patrick left at lunch. Over the afternoon we got dead quiet during the heaviest rains and he got about an hours nap in. He still looked like crap but he was better. It was just a hopping busy then dead as a doornail kind of day. I got baths in for Isabelle and Annie. I thought about giving Willow another one but she really doesn't need it quite yet.
Back to the job hunt things, I have the two breeding barns I'm going to still check out. The pay is still better than Boonesboro. I'm comfortable and relaxing some at the clinic I hate to leave there just because of pay. I need to get a few more things done while I have insurance because I know darn good and well I can't afford it without insurance. Having Dental and Vision insurance would be seriously helpful. In the end I can only imagine having to change doctors again if I move westward for jobs. So long as I can keep up with Amber and Heidi, and Willow can come with me wherever I go.
Well it's close to bed time. It's not raining so I'm going to get Willow out between bands of storms to pee. She doesn't seem too happy with thunderstorms just yet. I need to get to bed early tonight as well. Long day at work tomorrow. Maybe I'll call Lisa in the morning see if she wants to meet for lunch or something. I could really go for some Giovanni's for lunch or even Golden Corral.
I am forcing myself to keep trudging on. Sometimes things seem to hit a brick wall. Having my love from Amber, Heidi and Willow is plenty to lift my spirits but doesn't ever allow me to do what I want. I want to be able to afford both my equine girls and my canine baby. I hate the idea of doing MORE job interviews, why can't I just find a single job that pays good enough to keep my girls and get an apartment. I know horses are a VERY expensive habit, but I could never lose Heidi, and Amber I'm not even paying her board yet, just farrier, shots and deworming. Willow I wouldn't lose unless something medically went bad with her and she was lost that way. I hate to think of it but I would beg for help if I need to, I don't much care to do it but I couldn't lose all three. In fact even the thought of losing Amber is bad enough, I'd just fall to pieces if I lost Heidi or Willow. Much to young to lose any. Amber's almost 11 years old, Heidi's 8 years old and Willow's just under a year. I have many more years to go with them all.
Onto a bit better a subject. I have made the choice to sell out of my rabbits. I'll be keeping 6. Natalie, Connie, Raven, Little Boy Blue and a Chin- okay that's five. But that's it. The Chin will either be Juliet or her baby. I have no intentions of breeding more chins again unless I get more stable and can actually do something with them. I think I might just let them die out of old age though. LB is the youngest, other than the chin baby but Natalie and Connie are both over 3 years old, Raven's year and a half already. I was thinking about the rabbit show at the end of May but there's a dog show the Saturday before it, I'd rather do the dog show quite frankly.
I'm still having an impossible time finding a popup crate through Big Lots. Their's are the cheapest and I really cannot afford $50+ for a popup crate. My tax return is almost completely gone and It only got a few bills paid down but nothing gone. At least her training is going a lot better now. She's settling down. I'm hoping if I can let her romp each morning before a show at Lisa's while we pack up, she'll be more focused and ready to work. Sadly no Mega Millons win last night-I've got a ticket for tonight's lotto drawing so I pray to win something, if I can get enough to get myself out of debt I can start improving. I hate how the world revolves around money. Why does everything always have to be about money.
On a good note though. Heidi and Amber do not HATE each other but they aren't best buds either. Amber, while the older of the two, is a very dominate mare and Heidi's submissive both hate sharing me with each other. Amber is still looking for Kylie. She is willing to work with me but she misses Kylie. She has settled in very nicely into the mare paddock and has pushed herself to near the top of the pecking order. Which is nice, at least I know she and Heidi will never get picked on, or Cinder and Hope for that matter. The odd balls have joined ranks. I miss my girls, they both gave me kisses today even though I was down and miserable. Still something wrong medically with me and not the faintest clue what it is. Everything I have tried with my doTERRA hasn't worked. I'll keep at it though. I'm setting up a Doc appointment to talk to her and then a Chiro appointment to check my back.
Time for some sleep, short day at work but plenty to do afterwards!
